Shelkek Klek
by Ragged Paperback
Summary: Zim has a new mission and its one the Tallest wouldn't be very fond of, If only they new. Eventual ZADR. Rating will probably go up.
1. Ch 1 The New Plan

**This is my first story and i believe some form of introduction is in order. I am ragged paperback a.k.a. Raggedy or if your feeling exceptionally lazy just Rag.**

**I wrote this because it would not get out of my head and i have no shame in saying that this will end up being eventual ZADR xenophelia MalexMale blah blah blah you get the gest of it. As for how far it will go, i have no idea so consider yourselves warned!**

**I appreciate feedback since i need to know whether or not i should continue with the story . That being said regardless of what people think ill post at least two or three chapters before i decide to scrap it. (Flamers, you can do whatever I really couldnt care less)**

***DISCLAIMER* I DO NOT own Invader Zim or any of the characters Therein. **

**All that aside I really hope you enjoy it.**

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><p>OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO<p>

"Excellent!"

I had been digging around in this FILTH for far too long, but it had finally paid off. Hard to believe such a pitiful example of human technology would be the key to the execution of my master plan. A pathetic Earthenoid transformer for one of their inferior television sets. This was what I had been digging around in this Irk forsaken junk yard every night for the past month to find.

I suppose it would have gone much faster if I had searched during the day as well, but one of the main advantages I had (besides being Irken and therefore superior) over these rotting meat bags was their pitiful need for sleep, particularly that Dib-stink. My lack of ingenious plans as of late must be making him even more suspicious than usual. In fact, he had followed me all the way to my base and probably would have followed me here if he understood that Zim had long since obtained this pitiful planets backdoor technology.

Grinning to myself I hopped off the pile of filth ridden scrap I had been standing knee deep in and made for the back end of the yard. Why bother with entrances when you could scale a ten foot fence like a step ladder. Ah, Irken technology, what a beautiful thing.

Despite my hatred for the filth of this place, I might have missed it. The smell of ruined metal reminded me of home, or rather, of home destroyed by my all powerful claws.

The humans had unknowingly created a name for me that I found quite fitting, Home wrecker. Shulkekkrek in Irken, though the damage i had done before i was banished was minor compared to the destruction I was about to unleash upon my race. For thier own good of course. Now though i was fast approaching the only home i had not yet purposley destroyed.

I went in through the back naturally since the Dib could still be pulling surveillance. A blur of green whizzed past me pulling me from my thoughts, and hitting the back door as I automatically side stepped.

"Masta!"

I sighed. Gir's unpredictability had become strangely, predictable, over the years.

"I couldn't find you masta! Where'd you go?" Gir cried completely unaffected by his earlier stunt. "Masta got taller while he was away!"

I gave him a confused look. It was likely that he was just being Gir, after all it wasn't like him to be observant…then again.

I didn't answer his question, I rarely did(unless I felt like ranting and I do so love ranting)Instead I found redirecting Gir's attention to other things to be less damaging and I never asked for his assistance in anything I didn't want destroyed.

That was exactly what I liked about Gir, he was more destructive then any doom device if one new how to make use of his talents. In fact I was about to make use of them right now.

"Gir! The large headed dirt child is playing hide and seeks outside. Go play with him."

Gir shrieked happily before being propelled by the power of his own stupidity through the living room and out the front door which had been left…open...again.

I growled in irritation and marched into the living room. It was a wonder my base wasn't been plagued yet again with those filthy earth Smeets every time I returned. I shuttered as a repressed memory of Noogums surfaced and turned to address the ceiling.

"Computer, run a perimeter check, and a height check while you're at it."

There was a non too enthusiastic sigh but he complied.

"Perimeter scan negative, no intruders." He drawled lazily. "Height scan concluded."

"And?" I asked impatiently. My height was something that interested me greatly both as a matter of pride and importance to myself-assigned mission.

"Height has increased in comparison to last scan as predicted. Estimated time to required height, six earthen months."

More good news, I was grinning more today than usual and I hadnt even destroyed anything recently.

A familiar yelp of surprise followed by several Earthian cuss words and Girs shrieks of laughter from somewhere outside told me at least that the wretched stink monger hadn't slipped inside despite the still open door. Gir had yet again succeeded in doing what he did best.

"Sir, the Tallest have scheduled a meeting with you in approximately fifteen minutes."

"What! And you didn't think to tell me this sooner?" I roared outraged that I had so little time to prepare.

"They only just arranged it." The computer replied simply, not at all affected by my anger.

"Gir!" I stomped over to the open door as the sir unit flew through it doing a perfect flip and addressing me with a salute.

"Sir."

I slammed the door shut and motioned for him to follow. Ordering the computer to relocate the transmission to an isolated part of the labs and to open the elevator beneath the couch. As we descended I tried to think of the best way to convince Gir to wreak havoc without completely destroying my base.

"Gir." I said choosing my words carefully. "There is a muffin down in this lab and you are not to have it for it is vital to my meeting with the tallest."

The little robot seemed to go completely dead for a moment and I knew I had said the right thing to set him off and hopefully convince the tallest to wait awhile before calling me to amuse themselves in the future.

Oh yes, I knew, I had known the ugly truth for several years. A miniscule amount of time for an Irken but plenty of time to plot.

Ironically it was my most hated enemy who led me to this discovery, though I doubted he was aware of what he had done, considering he was trying to kill me at the time.

I became aware of the lie I was living and other truths had been made clear. Having the world ripped out from under my feet might have proved fatal but I was not a pathetic human in the throes of depression. Invaders do not wallow in their own self pity they conquer, and that was what I was determined to do, even if it meant going against my leaders and probably the entire armada…eh, meaningless details.

The door to the lab opened and Gir went shrieking across the room denting the far wall. I grimaced at the thought of the mess I would have to clean up later.

"Computer, How long?"

"Not long."

The computer sounded worried and I understood why since Gir was preforming his job flawlessly, and while he hadn't yet today, he had caused some major damage to Computer in the past.

There was another loud crash and I tried to make myself look annoyed, it wasn't hard. These random transmissions from the Tallest had become more and more frequent. If they wanted to believe I was still a bumbling moron (not that I ever had been) then I would let them. It would make things easier and much more entertaining in the end.

I had a new mission now, earth no longer mattered. Though I would still much like to conquer it, if only to rub it in the face of that vile dirt child.

"MUFFIN!"

There was no dodging Gir this time and I was thrown out of my thoughts and into a console panel.

"Transmission incoming."

Perfect timing.

I could see the screen to my left come to life, and pretended not to notice. I made a scene out of throwing gir away from me. The Tallest had to think it was just another day for incompetent Zim.

Morons, Both of them.

"Gir!" I yelled furiously. "Cease your actions and explain your behavior!"

"B-but the muffin overlords Masta!"

"The muffin overloads?" Sometimes I truly wondered how something so mechanical could be so utterly insane. "Why do you speak utter dookie?"

"Uh, Zim?"

"My Tallest!" I turned towards them and tried to appear as flustered as I could. "It is an honor to be in your presence."

Liar, liar

"Zim, were checking in for a status report." Tallest red said looking surprisingly serious, if I hadn't heard tallest purple snickering in the background I might have been inclined to believe him. As it was I had never desired to throw the nearest lab table through the monitor screen more than I did now. Ah, but that wouldn't be what little zim would do, and thanks to a little bit of altercation Computer was doing to their transmission feed that's all they could see. Little incompetent zim.

They had made this call merely for their own amusement. I would have to entertain them with facts about this stupid planet for hours now.

What a pathetic waste of my time.

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><p>XxXxXxXxXxXxXx<p>

And it had been, three infuriating hours plus another two to get the lab cleaned up again. But it was done and over with, and I could finally move on to more important things.

I side stepped into a separate wing off of the main lab and made my way down a hallway to the third unit on the left. It was a small room, a standard sub lab. What was inside wasn't so standard.

Against the far wall, attached to a multitude of wires was a Pak, my Pak, or rather my old one. Did I mention that the Irken armada keeps track of height in addition to any other noteworthy change an Irken undergoes? If, for instance, an Irken grows taller or suddenly has an increase in intelligence. All of that is tracked by the Control Brains whenever an Invader connects their Pak into their computers to charge. But the control brains wouldn't be the only ones to know. The Tallest would also know that I was groing taller and I couldn't have either of them knowing, not yet.

Thus I couldn't wear a registered Pak, but of course I couldn't go without one either. So I made like the good little ruthless invader I was and made a new Pak, with one major difference. It was better, a thousand times better.

When my Pak had been damaged that fateful day the effect it had on me had been earth shattering.

Heh, Earth. Shattering. Now there's an interesting thought.

Such damage would normally have been left to a repair unit and I would have been none the wiser, but my ego left me determined to fix such a minor blemish myself.

In any case the damage that stupid ape had done to my Pak had cracked an otherwise unreachable section. It wasn't mentioned in any of the Pak manuals invaders must memorize before their assigning and it was heavily encoded. Not that either of those things stopped me. I cracked the code after several days and found that the portion that had been damaged registered a number of codes I wasn't familiar with (All of which had been deactivated due to the damage). Among others, there were codes that enforced loyalty to both the Control Brains and the Tellest, as well as to the Irken race as a whole. Nothing surprising there, a good armada is a loyal armada

No, being programmed for loyalty was not unusual but the fact that loyalty to the Tallest was placed before loyalty to the control brains, even before loyalty to the Irken race, in matter of importance was enraging. The control brains were absolute, even the tallest had to answer to them. To think that someone had altered my Pak and probably all Irken Paks to swear loyalty to the Tallest above else was horridly wrong. It went against our laws and all Irken's must answer to the laws.

Such a code ment that all Irkens under it would destroy the control brains and even each other if the Tallest so wished it. It gave them supreme rule.

There were other codes as well. Codes that blocked the development of growth both mental and physical. (I suspected those were enforced by the control brains) I was offended by neither. It was the loyalty code that bothered me, the idea that Irkens could and would betray their race at the order of the Tallest left me feeling a kind of sickness not even Gir's waffles could have brought me.

It was the Tallest that made that code, of this I was sure, no one else would have been capable of something like this. Sneaking around the control brains was all but impossible. Had I not been banished I would have been discovered within seconds.

But I had been banished and thanks to that my Pak was often only given the barest of routine inspections and all other technology under my control was overlooked completely. So I was able to abandon my registered Pak and opt to make a new one. It hadn't been easy, often times I would have to alternate between the two Paks, while I worked out the bugs in the new one. I did away with the code for Tallest loyalty completely, with what I had planned I couldn't afford to have it. Not that I wanted anything to do with it now, or ever. But I did keep the other two. I felt my loyalty to the control brains and my race with or without my old Pak. But it wouldn't do to have any second thoughts.

I also did away with the restrictions on growth, both physical and mental. That was a given. I understood its importance of course, it wouldn't due to have the seat of power changing all the time because Irkens kept getting a little taller than their current leader. No I suspected the Control brains wisdom behind this. Still I couldn't over throw the tallest being as short as I had been. If I was to have any sway with my race I would have to be taller than them. So that code was scraped as well, I would suffer the consequences for it later.

Eventually the new Pak was built, but I was faced with another problem. What to do with the old pack, I couldn't destroy it. Doing so would alert the control brains and I would have Irkens here investigating my "Death". To have them find me here with an unregistered (and therefore illegal) Pak, and no good explanation it would mean certain termination. I shuddered at the idea. Though that was likely where I would end up anyway.

I finally decided to hook up the faulty Pak to Computer who-like Gir-swore loyalty to me alone. I expected him to be unenthusiastic about the whole thing since he had never had much interest in taking over the earth. I was surprised to find that he find the idea of going against the leaders of the most powerful empire in the universe amusing. Even more so when he found my plan was far more sound then any I had tried to develop in taking over earth. Amazing what a few years of mental development can do for an Irken. I hooked up the old Pak to Computer and he kept the control brains (and the Tallest) satisfied that I was no different than I had been four years ago.

So what exactly was my plan? That should be somewhat obvious by now. Just a few basic steps

First wait until I've surpassed the Tallest in hight, then fake my death and wait until the other Irkens had done thier investigation and found that my old Pak had indeed been disable. Finally meet the armada, kill the Tallest and either take their place or die. Whatever the Control brains decided was best. I would not deny either choice.

Well I didn't say it was a plan with a pathetic little happy ending did I? No it is an Irken plan and therefore will end in destruction and death, noble or otherwise. As long as the tallest died and the Control Brains realize and correct the faulty loyalty code the plan was a success, my survival wasn't a necessity.

But first I had to be taller than them and for that I had to wait for nature to take its course. No amount of Pak encoding was going to speed things up without causing unfortunate side effects.

So here I stood, ensureing that everything was running smoothley and that the Control Brains remained unaware of my default and feeling drained but not tired.

That was yet another thing I had changed with my new pak. In any standered Pak sleep wasn't necessary and therefore Irkens were locked in awake mode. Not that it had ever bothered me or any other Irken as far as I could tell. It simply hadn't been necessary. But I had been curious, the humans needed sleep. Was it a pleasant thing to undergo? So I made the wake mode in the new Pak an option that could be switched on and off at will.

The first time I had tried it I found that I had slept for two earth days. I panicked and Computer had to explain to me that it was likely because, without the assistance of my Pak, my body had resumed its natural sleep-wake cycle. And that since Irk days were much longer then Earth days I had slept longer. Despite this I did find sleep to be somewhat of a guilty pleasure. To slip away for a few hours into nothingness was a treat I indulged in occasionally. (After i installed a sleep timer to avoid going unconcious for too long in the future of course.)

Tonight was one of those occasions, I had only a few hours before Skool would begin and that was hardly enough time to start anything new so sleep it was. I made sure Gir was shut down for the night ( I didn't dare leave him active while I was so defenseless) And after ordering the computer to be on high alert for the evening, made way for one of the labs I had gutted. The only thing in it now was a large bed of my own design. I had to make it myself since I was the first Irken to have need of a bed in at least a few millennia if ever, and I refused to use an inferior human mattress.

It was a good bed too, almost as good as Vortian furniture but I'm not so egotistical as to think I could make a better bed then one of the most technilogically advanced races in the universe. Knowing I could destroy them with a flick of a finger was enough for me.

Still It was far superior then anything you were going to find on this forsaken ball of filth. I sank into it and thanked Irk and my computer that things had gone smoothly enough today. Tired of thinking I switched off the restriction and waited for sleep to find me.

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><p>OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo<p>

**Wow I really have a tendancy to make Zim ramble. Actually he kind of does that anyway. It is a long chapter though, dont worry the others shouldn't be nearly this long its just because its the "Intro" chapter. **

**Oh well, tell me what you thought of it. Just a simple "Hey it was good" or "Boo it sucked" is enough.**

**Chapter 2 will be up withen the next day or so, promise.**

**BTW I wasnt sure about the Irken language so I just ran with what I figured it would sound like based on Zim's race being a war driven armada and all that.**


	2. Ch 2 Laser Weasles

**Finally! I am really sorry this took so long. It seems that since I started writing this story school has gone from boring and simple to _holy hell we have to do what now_? In addition my harlot of an AP Lit teacher has been forcing me to use every once of creativity I might have on a never ending stream of pointless and annoying essays.**

**But enough about my problems, this is chapter two (In which Zim rants some more and contemplates the death of his calculus teacher). Its rushed and more then a little rough but I felt like I had to put something up here or I would lose the story completly, and i actually managed to get the storyline to move forward.**

***DISCLAIMER* I do not own Invader Zim or any of the characters or settings therein. **

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><p>Irken's do not dream.<p>

It makes waking up all the more disorienting, and this time was no different. I could have modified my pak to make the transition easier but why spoil the fun. This planet held few dangers to keep me on my toes, a healthy dose of-oh what did the humans call it- adrenaline did me no harm.

"Computer" I growled, dragging myself upright,"Status report."

"Status has remained neutral."

"Good, bring me my disguise."

A hover disc descended from the ceiling, on it rested a black wig and two oval contacts. The contacts were no different than the ones I had worn when I first arrived on this horrid planet. The wig however had been modified by Computer.

It was no longer sleek and part of it now hung over one of my ocular implants. I compared it to the fur of the slaughtering rat people, and found it annoying to have to constantly clear it from my vision but Computer insisted that it would help me blend in.

He had unfortunately been right, none of those stupid earth monkeys at that retched Hi Skool had poked fun at my wig since, not even the Dib. It was the only reason I put up with it.

I put the disguise on and made way for the lab exits.

"Sir you wore that outfit yesterday."

My teeth automatically grated together in irritation. How could I have forgotten? The humans changed their filthy rags regularly. No one had cared to make notice of my attire in Skool but Hi Skool seemed to have its own set of rules. I could get away with my skin color but could not find any viable excuse for the lack of variation in my clothing.

The standard Irken uniform repelled filth and repaired itself of its own accord via nanocellular technology. Likewise it could also be stretched and changed to accommodate the rare change in height or the necessity for a more elaborate disguise. I simply hadn't felt that it needed to be modified.

Computer felt otherwise, claiming to have surfed the human's web out of boredom and learned something of Earth fashion. He had placed himself in charge of my daily outfits, modifying my uniform to take the appearance of whatever he saw fit.

Today it was a long sleeved button down shirt the same red as my eyes and a black vest. As well as a pair of black jeans (skinny jeans as Computer had corrected me) I kept my boots and gloves regardless so Computer tended to model my daily attire around them.

The only other aspect of my uniform that remained unchanged was my Pak. When I created it I changed its design to one more suited to my tastes. Its color had darkened with my eyes (which now resembled the color of human blood) I had made it shaper, more angular and less bulbous then the one I had worn previously.

Now that this particular annoyance had been dealt with I resumed my original course of action and headed for the upper levels of the base.

"Computer reactivate Gir and keep him out of the labs"

"Understood," He replied sounding unenthused, "Shall I mimic the usual routine for the Massive?"

"Yes as long as the normal inspection is all they want, if there is anything out of the ordinary notify me."

"Naturally."

I had arrived at the front door when a crash erupted from the kitchen.

"Gir has been reactivated sir"

"Keep him out of the labs," I repeated cringeing as a high pitched shriek followed the crash, "and do not let him follow me."

Gir showing up at that infurnal prison was an incident I would kill to avoid, for obvious reasons. In any case he was Computer's problem for the next eight hours.

Outside I kept a constant vigil for the enemy but doubted he would make an appearence. Research told me that humans needed at least six hours of their pathetic sleep to function properly and Dib-stink had cut his sleep short with last nights attempted spying.

Chances were good that the stink meat would be late to Skool. Of course he would never be absent, just in case I decided to do something horrible to his fellow meat saks.

Had I been full of meaningless human emotions I may have told him that I no longer had any intentions of taking over his precious ball of dirt and filth. But as an Irken I enjoyed watching him struggle to save his ungrateful race from a non-existent threat.

While I detested Skool, I found Hi Skool much easier to blend into. The humans had grown used to my "condition" and those that didn't learned quickly to avoid bringing it up to me personally. Not after the example I had made of the Smacky child.

The memory had me grinning darkly and a nearby underling caught my look. His expression turned to one of pure terror and he fled down the hall as fast as his inferior human limbs could carry him.

"Terrorizing the villagers already, Zim?"

It seemed the Dib had chosen to void precious hours of sleep to show up on time. How unfourtunate for him.

"It is no fault of mine that your race is so pathetic, they are right to cower before Zim."

He had changed his appearance as well though not by much. He was taller than myself – a fact I found Infuriating- and his hair was longer. Other than that the change was minimal.

Years ago his own kind laughed at him, now they treated him as though he had one of the many diseases that contaminated his race. Further proof of the stupidity of these idiotic humanoids, unworthy of being the filth beneath my boots. They had forsaken the only one who realized the threat walking among them. Not that he could do anything to stop me if I ever became serious about destroying this pathetic poisonous rock.

"Besides, when the pig monkeys run it is a sign that it will be a day filled with much victory Dib-stink" I said knowingly, "For Zim, at least."

"Zim you better not be planning anything," When wasn't I planning something? "I am not in the mood to put up with any-"

The loud drone of the bell cut him off rather effectively. I didn't give him a chance to finish opting instead to step into my designated classroom.

I had heard the other students flap their faces about having a math class first thing. As though it being first made it worse. I didn't hate it any more or less than any of my other classes. (Which I utterly detested) Often I spent the better half of my time thinking up creative ways to dispose of the teachers. This _math_ class was no different.

The lessons themselves were painfully easy despite it being 'advanced'. The hyumans called it Calculus, I called it Childs play. I doubted the dullest of Irkan Smeets would have found this difficult. The only source of amusement in that class was the teacher who seemed to find my ease with the subject to be a reasonable cause for us to be mortal enemys.

I took my usual seat closest to the door. Dib stumbled in a minute later shooting me his usual "I'm on to you" look which gladley I returned with a casual 'flip of the bird'. Hard to pull off when you only have three fingers but the message was clear. I had studied up on his races insults after the accursed human began using them against me and found them to be one of the few human inventions I didn't immediately hate.

He didn't have enough time to pay me back in kind as the teaching unit had arrived.

"Sit down Dib you two will have plenty of time to kill each other later."

The rest of the class snickered like the decrepit dirt weasel had said something amusing.

I gave him a glare promising doom and reached to grab a notebook from my "backpack".

Rarely did I take home any kind of skool supplies as all the work the teaching units shoved at me was done before the hour was up. Such things stayed in the storage unit I had been assigned until they were needed.

This notebook however was most decidedly Irken (Not to mention full of weapon designs and possible future plans for earths destruction) and therefore must be kept close by and well protected. I began rough sketches of the rewiring Computer would need to make use of the fuze I had finally managed to track down.

The sound of chalk hitting the black board reached me, and I fought to keep from tearing the notebook in half.

This fool was going to try yet again to best Zims genius!

One glance confirmed my suspicions. The entire board had been swallowed up by this races idiotic "Numbers".

Slipping the Irken notebook under one I had brought from my locker I began shifting through the equation. By the time the pathetic mongrel had finished writing it I had already run through a multitude of possible awnsers and noticed something amusing.

"Zim." He began as he turned to face the class. "Would you do us the honors of coming up here and finishing this equation."

"Not necessary sir, the awnser is 'du' equals negative two over three x to the fourth times 'dx'. You made a mistake by the way" The old Zim would have shouted victoriously of how this human was pathetically inferior. I settled for ridicule instead. "Its such a simple mistake, I'm sure _anyone_ could have missed it."

The chalk in his hand snapped in two though I doubted any of the others had heard it what with those ridiculous holes in their heads acting as a hearing device.

"Zim, how many times have I told you not to draw in my class?"

"thirty seven" It had taken my pak only a fraction of a second to locate the memorys.

"And what are yo-" He stopped mid sentence when he relized the book I had been sketching in had mysteriously transformed into a regular notebook.

None of the other meat sacs called me on it seeing as they hated this class as much as I did. The dib might have tried to do something but he seemed otherwise preoccupied. Expierience said late homework.

It seemed today would be a victorious one after all. Seeing the teaching unit's head impload in on itself made having to be here slightly more bearable.

The chance to undermine him any further never accured as he kept his back to the class for the rest of the hour. No doubt planning some way to get his revenge.

The rest of the morning classes were spent figuring the wiring for that infernal fuze. By the time the skool broke for lunch I was confident that I could begin working to further my plans as soon as I returned to base.

I completely bypassed the cafeteria opting instead to eat my snack food outside. Taking a seat at the usual bench behind the school when a shadow fell over me. I figured it was the dib stink but as soon as he spoke I withdrew the assumption and looked up to meet the face of a student I could not identify. At least my Pak couldn't find it in my memory bank.

"You are in my light filth-sak" I hissed, "Step aside or suffer."

"Your Skin" He blubbered, unwiseling staying put. "Why the hell is your skin green? You some kind of freak or something?"

The tone of his voice reminded me of another student who had tried to insult me a few years prior. That had me grinning again.

Beware the grin.

"Insolent shit-head" I growled hooking my mighty boot around his ankle and burying my first in his overly stuffed gut. "It is a skin condition."

He went down, hard, hitting the ground with a hollow thud.

"Energy reserves depleted, 78% remaining."

Only 78? Such minimul movements shouldn't have taken nearly that much energy. It would seem my pak needed to be recalibrated. Every Irken had a specific amount of energy geared towards inhancing physical streangth for a short period of time.

Gudgeing from the amount of filth I had driven from his insides he would be down for quite some time. Even so I couldn't stay here, the stench alone was already ruining my appatite.

I spotted another bench across the pavement and headed for it. Not that it made much of a difference since I barely managed to be seated when another voice interrupted.

"He was a new student Zim."

This voice I knew and I carried on with my snacking.

"He didn't know any better." Dib finished stepping out form behind a nearby tree.

"Perhaps some one should have warned him then." I awnsered indifferently, why should that worm bag's ignorance have any standing on his punishment. "I cannot be held responsible for the human's intolerance of my condition."

"You don't have a condition Zim!" He shouted suddenly. "You are an alien."

"And yet last nights spying has yielded no proof." I shot back effectively cutting off his rant and rubbing the fact that he had been caught in his face. "Gir enjoyed playing with you."

Dibs face went completely blank for several long seconds then darkened considerably.

"Mr. Caustic saw you"

"Had he?" Wouldn't have been the first time. These humans were stupid enough to think that "suspension" was an ideal form of punishment. I was more concerned that my punishment might be downgraded to a dentention then anything.

This Caustic's had been responsible for this mornings distraction and tought one other class I was forced to endure. Physics, yet another amusment. These bags of rot had no idea how pathetically dismal their knowledge of the universe was.

If the dib-stink wasn't lying Caustic would give notice of my "punishment" personally. A few housr later had me thinking that the Dib had been lying. The teacher hadnt made a single move and carried on with class as usual.

The bell signaling the drones to leave rang and I moved to join them.

"Zim, Dib stay put please." He said without looking up.

The Dib? What did he have to do with this. He should in no way be involved with my punishment.

I stepped back infront of my desk and did what any good Irken does. Stand statue still and await further instruction.

My enemy looked both confused and angery crossing his arms and leaning against a nearby desk.

"I witnessed you little act of violence earlier today Zim," The teaching unit announce still far too involved in his papers. "Highly unimpressive."

Odd, I thought it had been pretty damn impressive.

"I was mearly inforcing the skools no bullying policy," I said easily, "Since you were apparently too busy to do anything but _witness._"

Dib made a noise of disapproval which I ignored. He could fear this teaching unit like all the other pathetic apes if he so chose. I had seen far worse horrors then this one could manage.

"Yes, well that no bullying policy doubles as a no tolerance policy" looking up to sneer at me. "Thankfully I believe you have already taken car of mister Rep's punishment for me."

This wasn't right, he should be angry not smug.

"And I believe I have come up with a suitable punishment for a suspension inclinded student such as yourself."

That was the same look the tallest had given me before they assigned me to planet earth.

"I get why he's here." Dib interrupted. Suddenly "But what does any of this have to do with me?"

The teacher looked much more upset at being interrupted then he should have been, glareing at Dib as though _he_ had been the one to punch the new kid a new stomach.

"I believe you, Dib, are failing my class."

"That is pathetic human." I laughed. "This class is woefully simple and yet you are incapable of achieving even the bare minimum-"

"Hey! You have a computer wired to your back," Dib shouted angrily. "And if I didn't have to stop your insane plots to destroy the planet all the danm time-"

"ENOUGH!"

Both of us regretably fell silent.

"As much as I enjoy the idea of the two of you killing each other and solving all my problems for me I cannot allow it in my classroom. Now since you have such a wealth of knowledge Zim, your punishment will be to tutor Dib for the rest of the semester."

Was he serious? The expression he was wearing said he was and I was suddenly compeled to strangle him with my mighty Irken fists.

"And if I refuse." The words came out a low hiss. Dib took a few steps in the other direction. Stupid though he may be he had fought me enough times to know that when Irkens snap they snap hard.

"Then you will be suspended again and since you have had so many absenses already you will be placed in summer school as part of the schools new policy.

"Impossible!" I snapped. "Zim's grades are flawless and that is what is required to be rid of this filthy facility. You will not keep Zim here."

"Your attendance is taken into account Zim and, seeing as you have missed the maximum allotted days you cannot afford another suspension."

Unbelievable! To think that you had to spend a definite amount of time rotting in this hole. These humans were vile!

Regardless it didn't take long to weigh my options. I needed those few days off from this retched place for planning. That made putting up with my most hated enemy a necessity. Simply not going wasn't likely and option either. These stink beasts had oddly strict rules when it came to education. Hall passes that tried to kill you as an example.

"Very well." I growled glareing at that minimum wage bastard. "Zim will teach the earth worm"

Said earth worm made a choking sound and I shot him a similar glare. He didn't seemed fazed, not suprising considering he lived with that Gaz creature.

"Good," The teacher said obviously happy with himself. "Dib I expect your grades to be improved by the end of the month. Or else"

He looked at me then and I gave him my darkest grin. The smile on his face died and he leaned away from me as though I were poisonous and my grin stretched wider.

Dib made an intangible sound of outrage.

"I don't need a tutor, especially not him."

"Your grades reflect otherwise." The teacher said simply waveing his hand in dismissal and turning his attention back to his papers. It was all the notice I needed to leave this god awful place.

I turned tail and marched out of the room already planning my revenge. Were those laser weasles still somewhere in the lab? Dropping a few of them in his transportation vehicle might make for a suitable payback. That would have to wait until the end of the year, for the sake of the mission at least. It suited me just fine, the victory only gets sweeter the longer one waits for it.

"You didn't have to agree you know."

Of course the Dib-shit had followed me, I would have been more surprised if he hadn't. Stupid ape questioning Zim's reasoning. I turned to face him, ignoreing his height and glareing him down.

"I know perfectly well what I am doing, what concern is it of yours anyway?"

I got no reply and was about to head home when the pathetic earth monkey finally spoke.

"I want a truce."

Unexpected.

Of all the things I expected him to do that was not one of them. By all accounts he should have snapped. Yelled, swear to uncover my identity or something equally stupid. But not this.

"Invaders do not form truces," I replyed bitterly. "We divide and conquer."

The human sighed tiredly as though he had expected my reply.

"I havn't passed my classes because I havn't had time to study." He paused briefly. "I havn't had time to study because I've been too busy stopping you from destroying the earth!"

"I fail to see how any of this is my problem."

"Dammit Zim! Look if I just had time to study I wouldn't be failing." He finished looking frustrated.

So that was the reason for his 'truce',good. For a moment I thought his brain had finally collapsed in on itself.

If I ceased my plots for earths destruction Dib could resume his studies and we would not need to suffer through having to be "civil" around each other. I expected him to keep up regardless, he never seemed to have any problems with these kinds of calculations before.

Still, in case the Dib's brain meats really were damaged…

"Zim will except your truce, temporarily at anyway."

That filthy human looked relieved, almost happy? Cant allow that.

"However, I have no faith in your intelligence, Zim will over see you education and be your…_tutor_." I dragged the last word out as though it were something filthy.

Dib looked stunned, better then happy but I could do better.

"We begin tommarow." I announced walking past him down the hall then stopping abruptly. "My base, after school, if you are late I'll turn you inside out again."

The earth brat shuddered looking suddenly horrified, much better.

I marched down the hallway through the double doors and down the street. The base would need inspecting. It would seem that I would bringing the enemy into my base.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me start out by saying i hate skinny jeans, absolutely. <em>Thats because you look horrible in them. <em>Shut up! Not my fault i have pear hips. That being said after some thought i got to thinking that skinny jeans for hyumans are probably normal jeans for Zim. **

**Also i tried to be loose with the visual discriptions. I find that most people already have some idea of what they expect characters to look like and i personally hate it when a characters description clashes too badly with what i think they should look like. I tried to keep it open to interpretation (key word being tried)**

**Next chapter is going to be much more entertaining. (and should clear up any points that might be confusing)**

**Its in Dibs point of view. **


	3. Ch 3 Bad Ideas, Worse Intentions

**Wow its been a long time, and I'm really sorry about that, I had a new job to deal with and Since I rebooted my computer I no longer have microsoft office and the new program I'm using is less than cooraperative. I really wanted to spruce this up more but I also felt that I had kept you waiting too long already so I resolved to post it by the end of the day and so here it is. **Worse still my office substatute spaces evrything all wonky so it actually looks like a much bigger chapter then it really is.****

**Its lengthy and in Dib's point of view which I wasn't a 100% on in the first place but I figured I mine aswell give it a go. **

**As usual,**

***DISCLAIMER***

**I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS THEREIN**

**Enjoy,**

* * *

><p>I think I'm in love with an alien.<p>

No, love is definitely not the right word for whatever's going on inside my head so lets never use love and alien in the same sentence again. It had snuck up on me somehow in what I'm sure is my insane brain. The rival hate relationship got twisted into whatever it was now. I loved fighting Zim, I loved knowing I had won the safety of the planet at his expense. I loved knowing I had won our battle. I didn't love Zim, I loved hating Zim.

Man that's messed up and its not even the whole truth but its all I've been able to sort out from the inside of my head. I hated Zim right? I hated that I've already won attitude. That smug superiority, and the complete disregard for anything non Irken. But I loved the fight. Thrive on it. To the point where I firmly believed I couldn't kill Zim even if I had the chance. And I had once. Even worse it had to be Zim. I couldn't say why it just had to be him. For whatever reason.

Even scarier still was that I was beyond trying to deny it, beyond even stopping it. Nope, I was all in on this insane train of thought. And why not? Why the hell shouldn't I go after the homicidal narcissistic space boy? Cause people might think I'm crazy? As if they don't already. Because it might destroy the world? Nope he would still have to go through me to do that and just because I cant kill him doesn't mean I cant stop him. And if I cant stop him then Earth was probably doomed from the get go. In any case I've been coming to terms with the idea of being obsessed (not in the usual way) to my worst enemy and its not so bad I guess.

Not that any of that matters right now because right now someone is trying to beat me into consciousness.

"Get up!"

"Fuck off!" I shot back groggily and turned my back to the assailant yanking the covers over my head to protect it. Voice did sound familiar though.

"Dib, I swear, if you don't get up right now you will suffer in ways you never thought possible."

Shit. Gaz.

"I'll right I'm up, sheesh" I threw off the blankets and sat up to face the little sister from hell. She wasnt exactly little anymore, sixteen and scarier then hell. That didnt mean I was any happier to be woken up.

"Your driving me to school today Dib, and we are not going to be late."

Late? I glanced over at the alarm clock and groaned. "Its six in the morning school doesnt start for another two hours!"

"Your always an hour late for school, this way we'll be on time," She said making her way to the door. "And clean your room its disgusting."

"Like yours is any better." I grumbled making stumbling to the door and slamming it shut.

Well going back to sleep is out unless I want to sleep for the rest of eternity. Looking at my room now I was starting to think that just maybe Gaz had a point, piles of clothes and pieces of tech I had either abandoned or forgotten littered the floor. Well, there had to be something in this mess that was still somewhat wearable.

My search turned up a half decent shirt and a pair of pants that weren't yet torn to shreds, I took both of these with me into the bathroom. I hadn't woken up this early in a long time so I took my time in getting ready. Partly because I knew it would bug Gaz, why I was stupid enough to annoy her was beyond me, must be a brother thing.

A few minutes later found me freshly showered and staring in the mirror. The image was blurry since my glasses were still on my desk but I knew what was there. Jet black hair that never cooperated and jutted out in every direction except for that single syth of hair; it was definitive, unique, it was also annoying as all hell. My skin was the kind of pale only vampires and basement cave dwellers could attain. And it wasn't as if I hated the sun it was just that I didn't have time for it. Between school and Zim I spent 90 percent of my time indoors and whenever I did get around to being outside it was usually at night. Regardless of why it was pale it was still another check on the Dib looks insane therefor he is theorem. The only thing I had going for me were my eyes, unlike the rest of me my eyes rarely seemed to carry the crazy.

I shook my head and sighed it was amazing how much those things mattered to other people. Appearances, appeal, they don't mean shit to an alien so they don't mean shit to me. Well not much anyway, aside from maintaining my only slightly crazy appearance that is.

I turned away from the mirror and walked out to find myself face to face with my psycho sister.

"Holy shit Gaz don't do that, wear a bell or something-ugh" That little comment earned me a swift punch in the diaphragm effectively cutting off my air supply and dropping me to the floor.

That was definatly going to bruise.

"Downstairs ten minutes or you never see the light of day again."

Was that backwards Latin chanting I heard just now? I was starting to catch my breath but I was still a ways away from talking so I settled for waving her off and climbed to my feet.

Now before you go calling me cowardly for not fighting back or damn my sister for being so cruel its really not as bad as it seems...most of the time. She doesn't hate me any more then she hates the rest of the world and we still look out for each other in a weird round about way. Its hard to explain but its just the way things work around here. As for not fighting back, I mean come on, theirs no way you can fight like that with your little sister and not look like a complete ass. Plus, lets face it she would kill me, every time, hands down.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I was not a happy camper.

Gaz had dragged me out of the house before I could get halfway through my sad little cereal breakfast. Now I wasn't a linebacker by any means but I was tall enough to warrant more then a few bites of Wheaties, and a poor breakfast does not a happy world savior make.

I couldn't turn back now, we were already in the Junker, affectionately named after its death trap appearance. Don't fooled though, I've had enough time to sort through Taks ship and learn some of its tricks. The first car that left virtually no foot print and cost next to nothing to run and people didn't give it a second glance. Dad would have been proud.

Not that I was ever going to tell him, as far as he new it ran on plutonium or the broken dreams of neglected children. Hey I think I may have stumbled upon some hidden frustration, and here I thought I'd gotten over the whole "Real Science" thing. Ah, well.

I played around with the radio, picking a station that wasn't completely horrendous, Gaz glared at me but made no move to change it so victory for me. Other then the radio we rode in silence.

"So your into Zim."

Wait, did she just...

What the hell!? I turned to gape at my sister who-other then raising an eyebrow slightly- remained expressionless. Had I really just heard my sister say that or had I finally sunk to the bottom of the sanity pool?

The screech of tire on pavement brought me back to reality and I realized I had steered the car into oncoming traffic. I jerked the wheel to the right, putting the car back on track and proceeded to try to restart my heart.

"Well?" Gaz growled impatiently.

Dear god, she had said it. This is the last thing I needed right now. Say something moron!

"Don't be ridiculous, the only thing I'm into is getting Zim on an autopsy table."

Gaz gave a short huff that was about as close as she ever got to laughing and after a quick revaluation I realized why and my head hit the steering wheel an instant later. What the hell was wrong with me?"

"Dammit Gaz." I groaned "That's not what I meant."

"Just own up Dib I know." I glanced out under my arm to see her glaring at me steadily. "Eyes on the road."

At this point I'm seriously considering just bailing out of the car altogether. Actually, now that I think about it.

"You didn't care about being on time, you just wanted me in the car so I couldn't bail."

"Duh, If I had tried to start bring it up anywhere else you would have ran like the pathetic supposed big brother that you are."

That hurts Gaz, really. But she had a point, even if I hated admitting it- and I did- I would have been sprinting away like my ass was on fire in a nano second.

"What do you want Gaz?" Because really why bring it up now?

"The satisfaction of knowing I'm right as usual." She said matter of factley. "You do realize he's a homicidally insane alien hell bent on destroying the world, even if he is bad at it."

"Pretty sure that's part of the problem." I grumbled sullenly.

"Do you have any idea how messed up that sounds?" She asked though it didn't sound as though she was at all bothered by it.

"Yes" I groaned glaring at the road, we were almost to the school by now. "What the hell do you want me to do about it?"

"Do I look like your mother? Do whatever you want its not like I care." She snapped as we pulled to a stop in the school parking lot, she opened the door and made to get out but stopped a second later. "It would be a lot quieter around here if you two weren't trying to kill each other all the time."

And with that she was gone and I was left to decide whether I should be worried about this or not.

Gaz knew, had known. Did that mean other knew? Did Zim know?

No not a chance in hell. Gaz knowing was one thing, she was my sister and always seemed to know the one thing you wanted to keep secret. Zim on the other hand, while he might not be as stupid as he used to be didn't understand most human emotions. I was almost positively in the clear, for now at least.

As far as Gaz telling anyone, I doubted she would bother, she wasn't the kind that resorted to blackmail (She didn't need to). Wait what had she said before? Something about us not fighting being a good thing. Does that means she approves of this.

My head hit the steering wheel for the second time that day and I could feel a headache waiting for me.

My homicidal little sister approving of my xenophelia was not something I wanted to think about right now.

"Next thing you know dad will start ranting about the wonders of para science." I grumbled slamming the car door as I left.

Huh. Gaz might have a point about the whole leaving early thing, I'd left in plenty of time but the final bell would be ringing any time now. I wouldn't be surprised if the building sat in some kind of rip in the space time continuum formed from crushed hopes and dreams.

A freshman bolted past me suddenly and I had to swerve out of the way to avoid being run down.

Only two people could inspire that kind of fear and Gaz didn't use this hallway.

That left Zim.

Sure enough there he was grinning maliciously. You know the movies where people see the one their crushing on and hear music or see flowers and sparkles or some other stupid shit.

Yeah, I don't see that. I see an extremely dangerous malevolent egotistical extraterrestrial who I coincidentally want to wrestle to the ground and do horribly indecent things to.

I couldn't do that now though, so I settled for a bit of polite conversation.

"Terrorizing the villagers already, Zim?"

His grin flipped instantly as he turned to glare at me.

"It's no fault of mine that your species is cowardly. They are right to flee before Zim." He said with his usual air of high and mightiness.

Pathetic? I don't think stalking a murderous alien is pathetic, stupid and insane sure, but not pathetic...then again.

"Besides, when the pig monkeys run it is a sign that it will be a day filled with much victory Dib-filth"

He stated smugly "For me at least."

He flashed me a grin and I felt my stomach drop. I loved that grin but it usually meant that Zim was about to reveal his latest insane scheme for world destruction.

He wouldn't

Of course he would, it was his job, and his ambition. But he couldn't, not today. Any day but today.

"Zim, you better not be planning something," Of course he was planning something, when the hell wasn't he planning something? "I am not in the mood to put up with any-

The bell rang dragging me back to more important things like the fact that I had two minutes to grab my crap and get to class, besides Zim had took the bell as a conversation ender and had already taken off down the hall.

I made a mad dash for my locker then a sprint down the hall to first period which Zim and I shared (by coincidence...sort of)

By the time I found the class room Zim was already seated, staring at the front of the room looking bored out of his mind that stupid wig hanging in his face.

I hated that thing. It was the first thing I usually went for whenever we were fighting

I shot Zim a death glare just for the hell of it

He replied by flipping me the bird.

Of course the only thing about Earthian culture Zim would get right is the swearing profanity.

Wait, did I just say Earthian? Great, now I'm thinking Irken.

"Sit down Dib you two will have plenty of time to kill each other later."

The class giggled like idiots, I rolled my eyes and took my seat.

Mr. Caustic, the teacher who called us out, a real underpaid, under-appreciated, self-sorry, son of a bitch.

He was also my ticket to getting that much closer to Zim.

A plan that only had a .006 chance of working but I had to try something while Zim was still trapped on my planet. Yeah, I knew the real reason his "Tallest" sent him here. For being a superior warrior race their security system was pretty pathetic, or maybe it was just Zim's. Whether or not Zim knew, I wasn't entirely sure. He was smarter then he had ever been but Zim was also the denial champion.

Not really important. What was important was that I had a window of opportunity that might close at any given time.

I knew that Zim had grown taller than most Irkens and since his race's hierarchy was based almost soley on height. Zim had probably moved up a few rungs on the Irken social ladder and that ment that he might be called back for a reassigning. Even if the Tallest did hate him. So, with that in mind, I came up with a once in a million, shot in the dark, plan while I had the chance. And that plan just happened to involve the middle management teacher.

He hated me, hated both of us actually. Me for the same reason everyone else did and Zim for being smarter then the teacher himself and rubbing it in every chance he got. Caustic prided himself on teaching the hardest class in the skool, and Zim prided himself on making it look as easy as breathing. The class wasn't really that hard at all, I was doing these kinds of calculations when I was ten.

But I was failing this class. On purpose of course, all part of the plan. I know, I know, what the hell does failing a math class have to do with my plan. Simple...well no, not really but here it is. Caustic's never happier then when his least favorite students are trying to kill each other. If he could he would probably bet on witch one of us does the other in first. The point of this being that he would use any excuse we gave him to make our life's miserable, and he also knew that the one thing we couldn't stand were each other.

Couple that with the fact that I'm failing his class, and Zim is acting like his usual smart ass self. It should (if I play my cards right and pray for a miracle) encourage Caustic to force Zim to be my tutor. He just needed the right incentive.

I pulled last nights assignment out of my bag and began checking it over. Danm. The work was way to thorough, looks like I got lazy, did all the work and simply wrote the wrong answers.

I grabbed a pencil and started to erase the work as haphazardly as I could the time I finished undoing all the work Caustic had made a mess of the black board.

Oh goody, time for another Teacher v.s. Alien moment.I rolled my eyes again and glanced to see if Zim had noticed yet.

He hadn't, he was busy with whatever was on his desk but looked up just as the teacher was finishing his latest master piece.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched his face contort into a disgusted grimace. Oh, That's right, Zim doesn't like easy wins.

Caustic was oblivious as usual, his back to the class. I glanced again at Zim to see his expression relax into a satisfied smile. Bastard had already solved it.

I took a closer look at the board. Seemed as though the answer wouldn't be too simple. Wait, something wasn't right, a mistake? More likely it was a trick. I wonder if that might trip Zim up? Probably not, that was probably what Zim was smiling about. He figured out the trick and now he gets to bash the teachers ego with it.

Shaking my head I went back to destroying my homework.

"Zim," Here we go, "Would you do us the honors of coming up here and finishing this equation."

"Not necessary sir, the awnser is 'du' equals negative two over three x to the fourth times 'dx'. You made a mistake by the way" Zims reply was cool, almost robotic. "Its such a simple mistake, I'm sure _anyone_ could have missed it."

teacher 0 alien 27

By the end of the hour Caustic looked like he was gonna pop a blood vessel and my dead on its feet homework was only going to make it worse.

Perfect.

I made to get out of my seat when the bell rang but no sooner had I thought of moving then Caustic snaps at me to sit back down. After which he proceeded to rant.

"I just don't understand your grades have fine up to this point." He said, "I would have thought, considering your upbringing."

You bring Dad into this and I will make your job hell.

"I just don't get calculus" I replied blankly, before he could say any more.

"Then maybe you should look for someone who does." He shot back pointedly.

"What, like a tutor?"

Oops, did I just let that slip, oh well.

"Yes, unfortunately most of my other students are just passing themselves the only one who knows the material well enough to..."

The sentence died out and for a moment Mr. Caustic simply stared off into space. Then a look worked its way onto his face. Hey that kinda looks like Zim's evil, I-just-thought-of-a-brilliant-idea-and-your-not-gonna-like-it, look. I might have been worried if I didn't know exactly what he was thinking. All I had to do was play into it.

"Actually," He said finally, "I think I know the perfect person to tutor you."

"Who?" I waited a minute pretending to think.

"Wait! You mean Zim?" I nearly shouted looking outraged and horrified. "No way! I would rather fail. Besides, there's no way you could get him to agree to this."

He seemed to already giving that detail some thought.

"Zim will eventually do something suspension worthy, unfortunately for him anymore absences will result in a loss of credits. He will agree to tutor you or face summer skool of which I am in charge."

Damn, how closely was he tracking Zims suspensions to know that? kinda creepy. Then again he was probably just waiting for the moment when he could use summer skool as a way to finally get a rein on Zim.

Really though? Could it be that easy? More importantly, would Zim agree to do this? It was a tough call, Zim might just decide to quit skool altogether, but he was so set on being seen as normal so it wasn't likely. The only real problem was whether or not Zim would choose me over summer school with this prick.

It could go either way but regardless it was my only chance.

The hallway was almost empty when I walked out and I only made it a few feet before the grin I'd been holding in burst out over my face.

A couple of the students in the hallway looked at me like I was the alien, so naturally I grinned wider.

Smile Dib, it scares people.

Most of the ones watching suddenly found whatever they were doing much more interesting.

Awhile ago the alienation (no pun intended) might have bothered me. Now though I could care less.

As long as Earth was whole and I got to stalk my mortal enemy I was a happy guy.

Sure one of them was trying to destroy the other but nobody's life is perfect.

Right now I had just a small dilemma. Getting Zim into trouble wasn't difficult. Getting Zim into trouble without being directly involved was another story altogether.

Thankfully luck seemed to be on my side today. Somewhere between first period and lunch a rumor floated by about a new kid who had already sent another student to the hospital. I didn't have any classes with him but I saw him a few times in the hallway and from the looks of it he was about a step above Torque. Half an hour later I had come up with another plan.

Though I guess I should explain something first.

See sometime at the start of high school Torque had gotten the idea in his head that putting the green kid in his place would be a lot of fun. It was our sophomore year and Torque was (naturally) star of the foot ball team and built like a brick wall. Where as Zim was only barely over five feet and looked like a twig in comparison.

Easy target right.

Of course not.

When the students all got word of the 'fight' and went to go see their champion beat up the green freak, they found Zim beating the poor bastard three ways to black and blue with his favorite barbell.

By the time the teachers got there Zim was long gone and none of them would believe that little Zim could have done it. Not that he wasn't evil enough just that he wasn't physically capable. The students had seen it first hand though, and from then on they've been scared shitless of him.

I know, I know where the hell was I during all this?

I was enjoying the show.

See I didn't exactly jump right from "Save Humanity and become a hero" to "Save humanity because you kinda have to" there was a pretty dark break between the two where I seriously considered letting Zim tear the place apart and take all the stupid people with it.

Torque had made my life hell just as much as anyone else, and I wasn't part machine like Zim.

At the time I was even less sure of how I felt towards Zim and the Hi skool had metal detectors so ray guns were out.

When I was fighting Zim I was almost always to busy to observe much. But watching him beat the hell out of someone else was a deciding point.

The look on Zims face had been terrifying I'm sure. A normal person would look pissed or scared in a fight. I know I did, Torque defiantly had.

But not Zim.

Zim looked like the king of his castle. Happy as hell in his element.

I was the only time I had seen that kind of joy from the Irken when it wasn't directed at me.

I hated it.

Of all the things Torque had done to me. Stealing that grin pissed me off to no end.

That look was meant for me, I was his enemy.

In hind sight my sanity (If I had any left) had dissipated then and there, and I realized that I wanted my enemy more then anything else on the planet, hell, I wanted it more then anything in the whole freakin universe. I wanted him to be focused on fighting with me and no one else.

Crazy right?

Since then I had taken every opportunity to get closer to the green bastard.

And I hadn't gotten any further then square fucking one. If this plan didn't work I was gonna march up to that stupid house and just throw myself at him, probably die in the process.

Back to the plan. It was lunch and I was working on tracking this new kid down. Chances were he was in the cafeteria so that was my first choice. I turned out to be right on my first try. He was sitting alone at the far end eating his own weight in ketchup and rice. Jeez.

All I had to do now was convince him to pick Zim as an easy target, provided he hadn't already been warned. Doubtful, it was his first day and he didn't seem to be entirely friendly.

I sat down across from him, an action he seemed to ignore, guess the dirt he was eating was more important.

"Hiya" I said, waving happily.

He looking up then, still not missing a single shovel full of food, grunted and went back to his meal.

Oh yeah, regular Eisenstein this guy.

"You must be the new guy."

He gave me the kind of look that said 'keeping talkin and you'll look worse then the cafeteria food'

I gleefully ignored it.

"Well there are a few things you should now before you go around smashing anything (or anyone) else into a bloody pulp,"

He didn't look the least bit interested in whatever it was I had to say, in fact if he didn't have the lure of food I imagine I would have been one of those bloody pulps right about now.

"The most important thing though is to never mess with the green kid."

At first I thought he hadn't heard me or that maybe he was ignoring me since the rate he was eating hadn't changed at all.

Finally though, the shovel slowed down as what I said slowly sank through the thick skull encasing what I hoped at least resembled a functioning brain.

"Green Kid?"

And here we go.

"What? You mean you haven't heard of Zim?" This really was too easy, "Nobody messes with that guy"

Nobody but me of course.

He didn't look entirely convinced. Figures, People think I'm crazy but they never seem to realize how insane their own thoughts process is. Willing to believe in an invisible man in the sky but if you tell them the paint is wet they have to touch it to be sure.

Not that I was much better, just smarter, more self aware.

What I needed right now was visible proof. I took a look around the cafeteria, Zim wasn't around, not that that was surprising. Unless it was raining or snowing Zim almost always ate outside. Damn.

Wait,

There he was walking past the wall to wall window that took up the whole back wall of the cafeteria.

What luck.

"See there he is."

For doubting me the ox was pretty quick to turn his head and gawk. It was pretty funny to see him choke on his rice though.

"No way." He mumbled gaping stupidly.

"Yup, you should stay far away from him though he's real dangerous." I nodded matter-o-factly.

The guy took another look and grunted in disbelief. Now, Zim may have gotten a little taller but he still looks like he could fall over if someone so much as poke him to hard. Everyone who had been going to this school for more then a week knew just from watching us fight that this couldn't be farther then the truth.

But this guys had been here less then a day and was about as thick as they get, so I was willing to bet that he wasn't paying attention to a single warning I said.

"You really shouldn't pick a fight with him if you know whats good for ya." I warned.

"I ain't afraid of now green skinned twig," He spat back "Don't tell me what to do."

He looked like he was gonna take a swing at me which was all the warning I needed to book it.

I shrugged shook my head and made my escape, Hey just because me and Zim beat the crap out of each other on a regular basis doesn't mean I want to go looking for a fight with some brainless Frankenstein's monster reject.

I made my way across the cafeteria and leaned against the opposite wall out of the way of everyone else.

I could practically see the hamster wheel running this guys head. Finishing eating the slop, or beat up the green kid.

There was a chance he would decide to try to pick a fight with Zim some other time, that wouldn't be ideal but as long he managed to do it in view of a teacher...speaking of which.

I checked my watch, the timing would be perfect if the guy decided to act now. hm.

"That's a pretty cruel plan for Earth's savior don't you think."

I jumped a good foot in the air, and clutched my heart in mock shock. Gaz damn she could be

a ghost when she wanted to.

"Your going to give me a brain tumor or something if you keep that up." I sighed. "I don't think its all that bad, people like him need a good brush with death once in awhile, and I'm pretty sure Zim won't kill him."

I didn't ask how she knew, she already knew the one thing I would have might have killed to keep secret why not everything else.

"Your a freaking bone sack, whens the last time you ate something?"

"Well I could have had a nice tasty breakfast but someone had to sabotage me on the car ride here this morning so-" She caught me in the side this time, fitting her sharp little elbow right between two of my ribs. I had to fight to keep from sliding down the wall a bit and settled for a coughing fit instead.

"Here." She threw some kind of rapper at my head and I recognized it as one of the snacks from the vending machine in the hall.

"I don't need Dad blaming me for letting you stave to death because you too stupid to feed yourself" She said over her shoulder as she stalked out of the cafeteria.

She really could be terrifying sometimes.

I sighed and turned back towards the new student who was...gone.

Crap did he go after Zim, or did he just leave?

There was on way to find out. I took off for the double doors that led outside the cafeteria.

If Zim was out here he would be on the bench behind the school building.

I didn't go there instead I took my time walking towards a different bench between two trees.

If I stood behind the one on the right I should have a clear enough view.

Sure enough from around the tree I could see both Zim and the new guy.

It seemed that Zim hadn't noticed him yet.

It didn't take long. I couldn't hear what either of them where saying but I figured I had a pretty good guess.

I tore into the wrapper of my lunch and took a bit. Hm, it wasn't half bad.

A few exchanges later the new kid pointed and laughed and then found himself rolling around on the asphalt throwing up his lunch.

Man the cafeteria food really did look the same going in as coming out.

Zim looked thoroughly unimpressed despite having down someone several times his size. Too easy I guess.

I took another bite and glanced at my watch again, it was about the right time. I turned to look at the faculty parking lot at the far end of the school lot.

The teacher that was so hell bent on making first period a living hell was now forzen mid step two feat from his car bag of tacos in one hand briefcase in the other. And with a perfect view of the other two's not so friendly conversation.

Human predictability, you got to love it.

Caustic always left school grounds for lunch at around the same time each day which meant he had to make the trek across it again when he returned which was always more or less when lunch period was almost over.

After a few moments of just gawking he seemed to realize that time and space continued to turn and resumed his pace.

This really couldn't have gone any better, I turned back towards Zim to see him...heading this way?

Had he seen me? I slid further behind the tree and waited silently listening as the crunch of boots on gravel got steadily louder. Finally they stopped and I risked taking another look.

I expected him to be waiting there but he wasn't. Instead he was sitting on the bench nearby.

He must be distracted by something today.

Zim being the 'ultamate invader' that he was it was a source of pride to be constantly aware of his surroundings and for the most part it had become impossible to sneak up on him. For him not to have spotted me yet, it was unusual.

The way I saw it I had two options now stay behind the tree, or have another friendly little chat.

Do I really have to explain what I went with at this point?

"He was a new student Zim." I said stepping out from behind the tree. He wouldn't be bothered by the spying after all It was completely normal by now. "He didn't know any better."

Zim didn't seem at all bothered by that fact.

"Perhaps someone should have warned him," He said, showing more interest in his snack then then conversation. "I cannot be held responsible for the human's intolerance of my condition."

"You don't have a condition Zim!" It really wasn't that big of a deal but I hated it when he still tried to pull the normal human act around me, "You are an alien."

Plus it felt good to say it.

"And yet last nights spying has yielded no proof." His eyes narrowed slightly, so he had noticed. I guess that should be obvious consider he sent Gir to attack me. "Gir enjoyed playing with you."

His grin turned malicious and what ever train of thought I was having derailed instantly. All that planning gone, replaced by thoughts of how far I could get before I ended up seriously wounded or dead.

Maybe I should just scrape the plan, it probably wasn't going to work anyway and whats the worst he could do if I just jumped him right now, kill me? That might not be so- Wait! No! What the hell am I thinking? Stick to the plan Dib, The plan.

I guess my expression had dead panned, along with my reasoning.

Zims grin had changed to a unamused glare which helped clear my head.

I glared at the alien, this really was partly his fault, I mean come on why does he get to make stupid sexy faces like that and saying weirdly suggestive things when he has no idea what hes doing. It just wasn't fair.

"Caustic saw you."

I don't know why I said it, I just felt that I had to get back at him somehow and if I couldn't afford a brawl today then the least I could do was give him something to worry over.

"Had he?"He wasn't openly concerned but that was just Zim somewhere behind that uncaring expression he was assessing a possible threat, mission accomplished.

The bell signaling the end of lunch went off before our polite conversation could continue or escalate and Zim marched away without so much as a second glance.

Two hours later found both of us at the later half of last period, or physics also taught by, you guessed it, the great Mr. Caustic himself.

You know if he stepped back a minute and took a closer look at my grades he might have realized that despite failing calculus I was breezing through physics just as easily as Zim was.

Moron.

In any case he hadn't noticed or hadn't cared, and continued to think that I was just being lazy or maybe he thought I was stupid too. Who knows?

What mattered now was that this teacher act accordingly and preferably today.

Not that I was impatient or anything.

Well maybe a little.

"Zim, Dib, Stay put please."

Whoa wait had the bell rung already? How the hell did I miss that? I glanced over at my nemisis trying to gauge his reaction

If Zim was alarmed, he didn't show it-not that he would- He had already been on his way out the door and instead of sitting like Caustic indicated he stood statue still in front of the desk, face blank.

Oh yeah, he was pissed.

I had subconsiously stood up when everyone else had and not wanting to look any more obedient then Zim leaned against my desk and put on my best glower.

"I witnessed you little act of violence earlier today Zim."

This is great, I should have brought popcorn.

Of course you wouldn't tell how jump jump for joy I felt inside if you looked at me. I made sure of it and damned if I hadn't learned from the best that there was a glare for all occasions.

"I was merely enforcing the schools no bullying policy" Zim replied overlooking the 'respect' a student was expected to show there teacher, "Since you were apparently to busy to do anything but _witness"_

Ouch that ones gonna cost you Space boy.

"Yes, well that no bullying policy doubles as a no tolerance policy" Caustic broke away from his apparently more important then us paperwork long enough to shoot Zim a sneer and finish his comment, "Thankfully, I believe you have already taken care of mister Rep's punishment for me."

That's dirty and under handed, guess I haven't been giving him enough credit in the asshole department, good to know.

"And I believe I have come up with a suitable punishment for suspension inclined student such as yourself."

He's really doing a good job of dragging this out. I guess I shouldn't go so long with out putting up so kind of protest.

"I get why he's here," I directed my glare towards Zim and couldn't help it when it morphed to a grin, the harder you try not to laugh and all. "But what does any of this have to do with me?"

I knew, obviously, but Zim didn't know I knew and this teacher was probably to dull to notice.

Smart enough to get by, but dumb as a rock where it really mattered.

What was that stupid literary teachers favorite phrase "It is to weep?"

I sure wasn't weeping now.

Caustic didn't seem to feel that my intrusion was as necessary as I did and wasn't that a shame? his happy little sneer turned to disdain, directed at me.

"I believe you, Dib, are failing my class."

Danm straight I was.

"That is pathetic human," Zim spat out instantly, laughing. "This class is woefully simple and yet you are incapable of achieving even the bare minimum-"

"Hey! You have a computer wired to your back," I shouted angrily, seriously what was with my being pathetic today, and another thing why was it that on a day to day basis Zim has the language skills of a two year old but when hes insulting someone or proving how obviously superior he is he speaks like a literary scholar, seriously what the hell? "And if I didn't have to stop you insane plots to destroy the planet all the danm time-"

"ENOUGH!"

Party pooper.

Caustic didn't look quite so pleased with himself anymore and even more likely to make this whole process as unbearable as humanly possible.

"As much as I enjoy the idea of the two of you killing each other and solving all my problems for me I cannot allow it in my classroom," Yeah, but if we starting killing each other in the school parking lot he would be right there with a bowl of popcorn, and a video camera, jackass. "Now since you have such a wealth of knowledge Zim, your punishment will be to tutor Dib for the rest of the semester."

I almost grinned, my face wasn't quite twitching but it was a close thing. Instead I glared with the intent of burning a whole through this teacher's face.

I expecting Zim to shout, but what he did was worse. He hissed, growled out the next sentence with as much venom as a cobra that had just been stepped on.

"And if I refuse." That is not a good sign. I took a few steps back for the sake of caution, when Zim was loud he was usually angry, but when he was quite he was about to do something that would make you wish you had never dared to climb out of the primordial ooze with the audacity to even think about evolving to a higher species.

"Then you will be suspended again and since you have had so many absences already you will be placed in summer school as part of the schools new policy."

Schools new policy as in 'made up on the spot for the sake of making your life miserable'.

"Impossible!" Zim snapped, snapping was good it meant he wasn't plotting. "Zim's grades are flawless and that is what is required to be rid of this filthy facility. You will not keep Zim here!"

"Your attendance is taken into account Zim and, seeing as you have missed the maximum allotted days you cannot afford another suspension."

I probably should have wedged in a comment of my own at this point but I was too involved in deciphering Zim's expressions.

Most of them-scratch that-all of them were just variations of anger. The first was rage without any reason, that downgraded to something that I guessed was frustration. It wasn't something I often saw in Zim. His blind ignorance and self superiority usually protected him from it.

There was a short pause and I almost said something but what came next made the words stick in my throat.

"Very well," The words harsh and bitter, "Zim will teach the earth worm."

I choked on whatever I was about to say and Zim shot me a glare.

"Good," I had forgotten about the teacher at this point, "Dib I expect your grades to have improved be improved by the end of the month, or else."

Please, I could have the homework for the rest of the year done by the end of the day but more importantly he had agreed. Zim had agreed and so easily that it had me worried.

Nothing else seemed out of place though, the teacher was smug Zim was pissed, all was right with the world wasn't it?

Still I shouldn't act as though it was.

"I don't need a tutor, especially not him!"

I stressed the anti Zimness as a precaution, Caustic didn't have any trouble buying into it."

"Your grades reflect otherwise," He said dismissively turning back to his oh so important papers.

Zim didn't waste a second marching his alien ass out of the room with an irritated hiss, great now I'd have to go track him down.

I grabbed my bag off the desk and made my move to leave, I got as far as the door way before I was stopped again.

"Dib, be sure to explain to Zim what class he's to be tutoring you in."

I froze, did I underestimate his stupidity, maybe I should have dummed up on this class too.

"Although I'm sure you could use the help in this class as well."

I let out a silent sigh of relief. Nope, I hadn't underestimated him, overestimated maybe. I was beginning to seriously doubt that he was the one doing the grading, he probably made the poor unpaid intern do it on top of making her as miserable as he did us.

Either way I had fast walking alien to catch up to and I didn't want to waste a single second in this pit.

Zim was almost out the door by the time I caught up with him, more out of breath than I wanted to be, danm him and his stupid speed marching.

"You didn't have to agree, you know."

And just what the hell do you think your doing now idiot. Yes lets remind the criminally insane alien where trying to get closer too that he can choose to completely obliterate the one shot in the dark you might have had. Smooth.

"I know perfectly well what I am doing, what concern is it of yours anyway?"

You have no idea what your getting yourself into, if you did we wouldn't be having this discussion. Now how the hell am I going to try to say this without getting my ass handed to me?

"I want a truce."

Yeah sure that was said with all the class and style of a monkey with crones disease.

Zim's expression was blank which could be good or bad pending on what he was thinking about, probably about how this was a trap and the best way to mightily shove it in my face.

"Invaders do not form truces we decide and conquer,"

Yeah like I hadn't seen that coming from a mile off.

"I haven't passed my classes because I haven't had time to study," I waited, hoping it might sink in then so I wouldn't have to make my self look like any more of an idiot than I already did. "I haven't had time to study because I've been to busy stopping you from destroying the earth!"

He was happy as hell about it too, knowing that he had gotten under my skin, that I had had to give ground in order to keep up with him. Smug bastard. Still he did seem to be considering, which was a start even though he was probably going to turn it down.

"Zim will accept your truce temporarily at least."

I'm dead, that's why everything is going so smoothly I died and against all laws of physics there is a hell and I'm am currently burning in the fiery abyss for beheading my sisters stupid toy and lying about it...or I'm in a coma, yup a coma that's way more likely then hell. In which case this is just a really long hallucination brought forth by my subconscious. So I should enjoy it while it lasts right? Man waking up was going to suck.

"However, I have no faith in your intelligence, Zim will over see your education and be you _...tutor."_

Nope, defiantly in hell, my subconscious wasn't this cruel. I should be avoiding this, a truce is one thing but this could not be good for my health

"We begin tomorrow," He announced, completely unaware of the fist fight that had just broken out between logic and reason inside my head. "My base after school, if your late I'll turn you inside out again."

That brought me back, and fast. I would be stupid not to believe him and It was not something I never wanted to think about again much less experience. I should have stopped him, resisted more. After all the whole point of this truce was to give me some breathing room, to test the waters and move forward slowly. I let my back fall against a locker and put my head in my hands.

Guess there wasn't much point in throwing a fit over it, could be worse. I mean he did except the truce. Now I just had to spend time we were no longer using to try and destroy each other pretending I was actually behind in a class I could have completed when I was nine. All with out my homicidal _tutor_.

"I'm so screwed."

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><p><strong>Well its done and I'm beat, Dib talks alot too, and swears alot. Most teenagers do...especially in thier heads. I know I do, or did. Also I really wanted to avoid a going down the whole, "angsty hate myself" teen thing with Dib and most teens who don't turn to depression, turn instead to dark sarcasm, but think of it what you will. Finally, I will try my darndest to keep this from becomeing a cliche Zadr thing. I know some of you might be on the fence after this chapter but try to have faith.<strong>

**Review if you want, I would appreciate it but as I rarely review stuff myself (never, I'm just no good at it) I can't blame you if you don't.**


	4. Ch 4 20 Questions?

Hey guys guess whose still alive. Urgh, I know, I know, what the hell happened well school and life and the fact that I can't keep money in the bank for more than a week has sort of been a debby downer. Also This chapter was giving me a hernia. I know its short and pretty crappy. Its just something to hopefully tide you over until I can finish the next part. Bear with me folks, and know that I have not abandoned you yet.

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><p>This is, awkward.<p>

Standing outside my enemy's house, just out in the open. I was on the sidewalk just out of reach of the lawn gnomes. If Zim had really agreed to the truce they should be deactivated, but since it was Zim I had my doubts.

I edged into their line of sight waiting for them to kick to life and start shooting lasers out of their eyes. But they didn't, which to be honest, freaked me out more than anything else. They just stood there blank and dead.

Creepy fucking gnomes.

I made it to the front door without any alarms going off, or any that I could see, and I almost knocked.

How stupid would that have been?

"Zim I know you're watching, open up!"

There were a few seconds when nothing happened and I might have thought that I would be wrong but I wasn't. There were things you could always count on to be true. This was one of them.

The door flew open, revealing a very annoyed looking Zim and I had the sudden urge to haul ass in the other direction. Natural instinct really, so, naturally I completely ignored it.

"You going to invite me in or just try to glare holes in my head?" I asked lazily, "Word to the wise, Gaz has been trying for years and my heads still mostly intact so it might take a while."

"Heh, I have my doubts, Dib" He growled stepping out of my way and back into the house, "Perhaps your horrible sister unit's stare has simply phased through your skull and melted that horrendous meat slab you stupid humans use to think."

This is what usually passes for civilized conversation, actually by normal standards he was being polite.

Zims house was largely unchanged, huge TV on one side, oddly comfortable couch on the other. Oh, and let's not forget the creepy monkey mural and the mess of wires all over the ceiling.

But I was used to this, besides there were more important things on my mind.

Like where the hell I was supposed to go with this whole treaty thing?

I hadn't exactly planned ahead this far, I mean what where the chances that this would actually work?

"Listen Zim about the treaty, I think we should go over the specifics"

"Specifics? The treaty has no specifics! It is simple, I temporarily cease destroying your rotten planet and in return you will not expose Zim to your earthian authorities."

"Well, yeah but what about us?"

"What nonsense are you spewing?"

"There's nothing in the truce that stops us from killing each other." I pointed out. It was true and even if it hadn't crossed his mind yet, it would if he suddenly decided that a brawl was necessary which he would. No doubt about it. That little detail would be right at the front of his mind.

"Zim assumed that was intentional," He said, he was being sarcastic, yet another thing he had chosen to improve on instead of his knowledge of human kind.

This was already turning out to be more work than it was worth. "Look if we spend all our time trying to kill each other than that doesn't leave much time for study now does it?"

"You mean we are to completely abandon our fight in its entirety?"

"If you insist on tutoring me, then yeah, otherwise I won't be able to focus." Also not entirely true, I could multitask fighting off an alien and homework. My other classes proved that, but ignorance was bliss.

Zim made a low growl of frustration before pacing to the far end of the room. He grumbled to himself muttering curses, and dipping in and out of his own language rapidly. Aw, he hated me so much that the very idea that he was bound by word not to rip my innards at a moments noticed was really hurting him. Wasn't that horrendously adorable? Sarcasm aside it did bring me some form of happiness to know that this was actually a difficult decision for him. Giving up on fighting his worst enemy even temporarily. God how fucked up was that?

"Grah! Fine Dib-filth if you need that false sense of security then Zim will agree to these pathetic terms."

I crossed my arms and grinned victoriously just to annoy him, "Alright then, let's get started."

And so we did. And a week and a half later it was still as awkward as it had been on the first day. We couldn't fight, and it was horrible.

We could argue but as soon as it escalated we had to stop. Eventually it got to the point where we couldn't talk about anything but the math.

It was awkward and colorless, but even worse than that. It was boring.

I never thought I would miss trading punches with a volatile alien invader this much.

"This is ridiculous." I grumbled, scribbling numbers and symbols nearly as fast as Zim could type them.

"Your inability to copy the simplest of equations, yes human it is ridiculous."

A pissy Zim was not helping.

"Not what I meant Marshin," I countered, He hated that particular insult, more than most. Mars was a bitter memory for Zim. "I was talking about this stupid truce."

"It was your suggestion Dib-filth." Zim reminded taping away at the keys in front of him at an inhuman pace. "You could always rescind the proposal."

Ignoring that fact that Zim knew what 'rescind' and 'proposal' meant but still referred to calculus as 'maths' I tried to think of a decent reply. I had already thought about it, taking back the treaty. At least part of it, and maybe I would eventually but for now I had a chance to learn more about Zim without having to fight tooth and nail for every little factoid in a life or death fight to the finish. It just wasn't worth almost dying to learn just how fast Zim could react to a person line back tackling him in the dead of night.

So we couldn't go back to full on fist/claw fights just yet. As fun as that would be, but maybe.

"Nah, Not gonna happen." I said, smiling when Zim let out an irritable growl, "We could play a game."

Zim's typing never stopped, and he kept his eyes firmly locked on the screen in front of us, but there was a barely noticeable slowdown in his typing speed.

Good, I had his attention.

"I'll ask you a question, any question." I paused, the typing continued and so did I, "If you choose answer it, I'll answer any question you ask. Any question, and I have to answer it, no exceptions."

Stupid? Yes, an idiotic way to pass the time while simultaneously exposing all of my weaknesses to my enemy for the sake of maybe learning a thing or two about said enemy? Absolutely. Oh look at that I appear to have developed a twisted sense of fun.

The typing stopped but I didn't, would not look up. This was just a casual 'I am bored out of my mind' game.

"What is the point of such idiocy?" Zim said resuming his typing. I wasn't sure if it was meant to be rhetorical, probably. I answered it anyway.

"Its still not as boring as this," I said gesturing to the screen, "And it might actually keep one of us from snapping, and killing the other just for funnies. Don't you dare say you haven't thought about it"

"Every waking moment I have spent in your presence I have spent knowing that breaking my word is only a puny snapping neck away, human."

Well, alright then.

"Zim will play your game for today," Zim sighed resuming his typing, "Until I find it too stupid to put up with any longer."

Yes! Well it wasn't exactly a yes, he had only agreed to it temporarily. Still it was a hell of a lot better then nothing at all. but, what question, it had to be something he was likely to answer. Something that fed off his pride would likely get an answer.

"Why height?"

Zim gave me a look, the one that meant he hadn't understood but that only meant that I was an idiot for talking.

"Why is your race's hierarchy based on height?" I tried again.

Zim was went completely silent, which was never a good sign. Maybe I had asked the wrong question on the first go.

"To be tall is to tower above your lesser," Zim said steadily, almost cautiously, "Once you rise above someone it is your right to rule them."

"So as long as your taller than someone you can automatically order them around?"

"Do, not get any horrid ideas dirt child," Zim hissed suddenly, "Irkens are loyal to their own only, you are but dirt beneath the armada's boot regardless of your retched height."

That wasn't what I was thinking at all, It was obvious my height wasn't going to do me any favors years ago. I wanted to question other things though, did Irkens value height from a aesthetic point of view?

I doubted it, aside from being self centered on their own kind Irkens didn't seem to hold any romantic interest.

Damn it.

"Why not just base it off of strength then?"

"Bah!" Zim snapped suddenly outraged, "Strength is not clearly visible, we would destroy ourselves in constant battle to prove who is the strongest, and as amusing as that would be it would not serve the armada. Our efforts are far better spent conquering the universe then squabbling amongst ourselves. It is my turn to ask now, Dib."

There should be universal laws that prevent grins from looking that evil. Okay calm down Dib you knew this was coming, it can't be that bad right. Its just a question its not like he can actually do anything with the info. But if he asked the wrong question, I might be dead truce or not.

Hell.

I had been expecting this though, hell I had suggested it but thinking of all the horribly uncomfortable things he could ask.

"What are dreams?"

"Huh?"

"Dreams you infernal dirt monkey," Zim repeated irritably, "That world you humans visit when your weak pathetic body's cease functioning for the day."

"Sleep Zim" I sighed both relieved and annoyed, Zim gets a free pass on all the knowledge of humanity and the first thing he asks about are dreams, "Humans dream when they sleep and its not another world its more like a hallucination, not real."

I thought briefly about the nightmare dimension that existed inside my own head before I banished the thought of it back into the darkest corner of my subconscious. That place fell under the never-discuss-with-anyone-ever part of my mind.

"Our brains go through all the things that happened while we were awake and logs anything that it considers important. Sometimes people get a distorted view of what our brains are seeing. That and the fact that we don't move or see when we sleep makes our brains sort of make things up. So we sort of hallucinate things like falling or flying. Non of it actually happens though."

"Pointless," Zim hissed, he looked almost frustrated. Maybe he had expected to find some sort of human secret. I could have told him about nightmares but the idea of Zim putting the world in some kind of terrifying coma stopped me dead.

"Pretty much," I opted to end that question before it could lead to anything worse. There were other questions of course. Some I was careful to answer, Zims perception of Earth made it easier to bend the truth a bit. But that meant he could do the same to whatever I asked. Still, it was better than just sitting in silence to avoid breaking this stupid treaty.

At least it was, until I asked that one idiotic question I would have given up a hundred truces to take back.

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><p>Ok yeah, short and not so sweet but Its all I have right now and I swear I'll try to be better about posting updates. I've already been working on the next part so enjoy.<p> 


	5. Ch 5 Horrible Relizations

I've been so freaking busy, its just insane. Actually I have to leave in ten minutes, but if I don't do this now it won't happen for a few days. So, new chapter, hope its a good one. I'm hopeful that the next chapter will be done sooner than most of the others. Enjoy.

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><p>Questions.<p>

In general I detested them but making a game out of it did ease the, irritation and in this case, the reward slightly outweighed the inconvenience.

The Dib had asked any number of questions already, I turned most of them away for being too idiotic or too threatening to my own agenda. He did not have the same luxury. Humans and there pathetic attempt at negotiation.

Though I hated any kind of 'peaceful' interaction with Dib this was far more entertaining then merely sitting in silence to weary to say anything that might result in an actual fight, breaking the truce was not an option. This was precisely why Irkens did not make truces. I had finally decided to answer one of his less repulsive questions, there was entertainment in the things he asked I was far more interested in the things I asked him.

"What purpose does that filthy covering one all your heads serve."

"Hair, you know what its called Zim," Dib sighed tiredly, it seemed these questions were as unpleasant for him as they had been for me, "It's meant to keep our heads warm."

"Will it not overheat your pathetic brains?" I inquired grinning at the flaw, "Is that why all you pig monkeys are so dull?"

"No, we," He paused to shoot me a pointed glare before continuing, "We're good at managing our body temperature, unlike you, lizard."

How dare he compare me to the four legged rock dwellers of his filthy planet, Irken technology was all we needed to maintain functions. We did not need to manage our own temperature yet the Dib seemed to find that information more amusing than I had anticipated, had I known I would not have answered that particular question.

There were other things I had learned, while probing for some sort of weakness. Human teeth were a shaped as a result of eating both the filthy animals and putrid plants of this planet and though not originally meant for offense I had already discovered that they could be turned into a weapon.

Study resumed as normal, so occasionally Dib would pause to catch up in his inferior writing. Surprisingly he seemed to have no problem comprehending what he could not grasp before. Perhaps he really had only needed time but I couldn't take the chance.

"What do your hands look like?"

I spared him a glance. Before waving my hand in front of his face with a smug grin. Was this really the best my mortal enemy could come up with. What a waste of a question.

"Under the glove."

I paused, trying to comprehend any manner of intelligence that might be behind something so idiotic. I couldn't think of any advantage Dib would gain from the knowledge. Was it just filthy human curiosity. If Dib wanted to waste a question on idle curiosity it was his mistake. Yet, I hesitated, Dib wasn't an Irken so it wasn't as if I was committing a taboo, but the very idea seemed unnatural, it just wasn't done.

Tugging the dark material off my left hand I held it up for inspection.

The human looked skeptical as though zim were playing a joke.

Zim would never joke of such things.

Dib seemed to reach the same conclusion as his scrutiny quickly turned to muted awe. He had every right to be impressed. After being on the receiving end of these claws I suppose it was only right for him to wonder.

His initial skepticism was understandable, with the glove off there was little difference in appearance. My hands were just as black as the fabric that covered them. A dark exoskeleton that delved back under the skin just shy of where the gloves ended.

"Why even were gloves?"

Dib didn't even seem to realize he had asked another question, he was still intent on studying my superior Irken fist. It wasn't a question I was going to answer anyway.

In truth there was once a time when all Irkens wore their skin like an armor. Superior still but so caught up in their own wars they could not see their greatest potential. Then the control brains came and showed the mighty Irken race a better use for their brilliance. Why squabble amongst ourselves over a single planet when we could force the universe to its knees with our combined might.

Uniformity came with the control brains and the mighty Irken race turned over its armor in exchange for technology. While defects were weeded out over time these claws continued to reoccur with no particular pattern or reasoning. Some have them and some do not. In order to keep uniformity all Irkans are required to where the gloves as part of their uniform. With the exception of the tallest of course.

I snatched my hand back and slide the glove back on in one smooth motion intent of resumeing the game without any further hindrance. Despite my intent something had shifted and from that point on the questions became harder to navigate.

"No,"

"You turned down all the other questions." Dib groaned letting his unusually large head fall back on the couch.

"Then use your limited intelligence to think up something less mundane, human," had he forgotten that it was he who started this miserable game in the first place.

"No."

Insolence. Had he truly forgotten our arrangement?

"I do not have to answer," I replied evenly.

"No, you don't, but then neither do I." Dib said pointedly, his head hadn't moved from its place on the back of the couch but that didn't stop him from giving me a sideways glare.

"You claimed you would answer any question Zim asked regardless." I growled glaring back,

"Yes." He noted, but his expression lost none of its casual cleverness, "if you answered one of mine first. If you don't answer the question then I don't have to either and the game ends. "

I couldn't stop the dull rumble that rolled up from my throat. Damnable dirt child. I could simply refuse, end this game that was already starting to bore me. Of course doing so would mean that Dib had won and no enemy would have victory in my base.

"Irkens do have a form of relationship, far superior to your humans vile love," I paused tugging at my glove insuring it fit properly, "It does not occur often, and rarely lasts long. It occurs between two of equal standing. It is, admirable."

For a moment the Dib was eerily silent.

"So rather than love, your kind, admires?" He looked truly confused. I wasn't surprised, you cannot expect a human to understand the complexity of Irkan culture.

"Insolent dirt child!"

"Admiration is for the weak, the weak exist to be useful to the strong, this is not true hatred. To be truly hated is to have nothing stand in the way, the two have to be equals. To hate each other beyond anything else. To have the other influence your actions and occupy your thoughts wholly. That is true hatred. It is Vaarshokk.

I finished my statement with a proud grin, let the human try and make of that what he could. I turned back to my typing satisfied that I had proved my superiority.

"I guess it make sense."

What?

I turned to Dib prepared to demand just what he thought he 'understood' but he wasn't looking at me. Wasn't looking at anything. Humans had this nasty habit of turning off their eyes when they needed to achieve higher thinking. Under normal circumstances I would have taken advantage of this to launch a preemptive strike. Under the treaty I could on sit there and simmer in quite rage while the human sorted through whatever meager thought process had overloaded the pile of sludge in his skull.

"You're a waring race so it only makes sense that your people would base their relationship on violence," Dib continued his eyes fixed carefully to the ceiling as a wry smile worked its way into his expression," I wonder if its contagious?"

Contagious? He was speaking as if something so complex could be caught like some filthy human cold. I was ready to tell him how wrong he was when something in his expression caught my attention. I had seen that face before, in the middle of a fight, many fights. Dark resignation and defiant hatred rolled into the same expression. Dibs words rolled over in my head again and I realized something horrible, I had seen this look on my own kind.

That vile, wretched, human!

How dare he think for one minute that he is capable of something his own people don't even have a name for?

"Hey, you still there." Dib said suddenly.

And he truly believed I wanted the sole focus of his hatred on me.

"Out."

Or that I hated him more than anything else which was wrong completely utterly-

"What?"

"I said get out."

"Why?"

I hesitated, I couldn't finish that thought. Why had I hesitated, Irkens do not hesitate. Dib needed to go, Now. I needed to think.

"This is my house, my base. If I want you out you will leave." I said refusing to even look at him, "You said you were more than capable of competency on your own, prove it."

"Zim, what the hell are-"

"Listen to me you pathetic meat sack," I interrupted my voice coming out in a low hiss. Anger overriding my determination to block him out. "If I am the cause of your failing grades and not simply your lack of intelligence as I strongly suspect, than do not speak to me. Don't look at me, do not even acknowledge my presence or I will call off this truce and end you."

No. I couldn't would not suffer his presence while bearing uncertainty's.

"Computer, expel the dirtling."

How Computer chose to do so I did not care. As long as he was out of the base.

Unacceptable.

I had hesitated, on something that should be absolute. There was no reason for it, but even now.

Growling I marched to one of the lifts and ordered computer to make way. The house was quite save for the hum of machinery. There was no Gir to provide a much needed distraction, even Computer was refusing to make a comment.

That vile worm. Insinuating that our hatred was worthy of the title Vaarshokk.

It was the title awarded to twin suns near the Irkin planet long ago. Through time those twin suns fought, pulling close and repelling each other apart growing ever closer and more violent with each passing until they collided in one final collective blow and tore apart the very fabric of space leaving a gaping wound in their wake.

Ridiculous for that pathetic human to think he was even capable of hatred of that magnitude.

My hatred for Dib was monogamous with my dislike for this revolting planet, nothing more.

A hundred scenarios of destruction brought to the earth by my hand raced happily through my head before.

The lift shuddered and skidded to a halt, my fist dented into the metal panel.

"Why."

That single word hissed through my teeth but went unanswered. Why was every image of this planet aflame complete with a defiant Dib, eyes burning with that same look.

Think.

My hand flatten to feel the dent and asses the damage.

Presence.

That must be it. I had been on this rock with no one to pit against save for that pathetic human. It must have narrowed my view. I had lost some of my ability to generalize my revulsion and that singularity had mimicked the feelings of Vaarshokk. Had Dib simply turned a blind eye like the rest of his kind he would be nothing.

Relief surged up as ran through the theory again and it grew more solid.

The Dib had no choice but to ignore me the next few days if he wished to maintain this mockery of a truce. I would focus on my work and these ridiculous notions would leave me, like a sickness purged by my pak.

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><p>I know It's shorter than the others and I'm a horrible person for ending it here but I have my reasons, terrible, horrible reasons. I will get the next chapter up as soon as I can thank you for bearing with me.<p> 


	6. Ch 6 IQ Tests and Alley Fights

Hey Guys, I rushed this chapter a bit for the sake of posting it before finals week so its probably a little rough around the edges but I hope you enjoy it just the same. As always, thank you all so much for your reviews and your patience it means a lot! (also I had to up the rating just to be safe, sorry guys)

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><p>What the actual hell just happened.<p>

I was inside, and now I was outside, in the street flat on my ass after being thrown, literally thrown, out of Zim's base. Great, one mystery solved. It was really the only thing I'd figured out in the few minutes I had spent just lying in the street.

"What was all that about?" I groaned finally pulling myself off the ground. Despite surprising turns of events that make you reevaluate what you think you know about an alien life form, landing on unforgiving pavement is still painful, yup very painful.

I took a seat on the curb well out of line of Zim's base and its psychotic looking lawn fauna and tried to figure out what the hell I had done wrong. It shouldn't be an issue, I said things that upset Zim all the time. It was what we did, but this was different.

This was bad.

I had done any number of horrible things, said awful things. I gave as good as I got, and not once had Zim ever refused to have anything to do with me. Tried to kill me, defeat my and burn my home planet sure, but just flat out refuse my presence. Never, not like this.

I couldn't think of anything I might have said that would have resulted in this. We were under truce it wasn't like I could have pulled anything even remotely hostile. I began retracing the entire conversation and a sinking feeling settled in my gut. I was up and moving before I had really registered what I was doing. Practically sprinting away from Zim's base like I could outrun the realization that was racing through my head like a freight train. I couldn't outrun it, the horrible truth my brain was already trying to deny. It didn't stop me from trying.

I made it as far as the park, an old rundown pebble playground that had seen better days when I was little, now it was completely abandoned, the kind of place most people avoided. I collapsed against one of the broken lamp posts surrounding the park trying to catch my breath.

I had confessed to Zim, and he had rejected it.

It definitely wasn't a flat out confession, there had been no -hi, I hate you and you hate me so lets commit to hating each other for the rest of eternity because you species actually defines that as a socially acceptable relationship, and I'm just psychologically damaged enough to want to be a part of it.- but apparently it was enough for Zim to catch the hint and basically freak.

To be honest I was at a loss. I had no more moves no more plan. Rejection had never been a real option even now I refuse to fully accept it. Zim hated me, more than anyone on this planet, more than the planet itself even. I doubted a lot of things, even my own sanity, but I wasn't wrong about this.

I couldn't afford to be. Strange that I actually found that comforting. He could reject me all he wanted but it didn't matter. This was not love, there was no equal give and take. This was take, take all you can get and be taken from in return. Anything else was weakness. The more I thought about it the less catastrophic it seemed. The game wasn't over, it had just skipped a few levels was all. Now I just had decide what to do next. I was still angry, pissed actually. Zim had run away and made a superior ass of himself and I should be rubbing it in his face. I was giving serious consideration to backtracking to Zim's base when I realized I wasn't alone.

A group of people, three of them. They moved and talking too loudly for their surroundings, clashing harshly with the somber silence of the abandoned park, it suggested they were either young or very stupid, probably both. Definitely both. I doubted they were particularly friendly and I should have moved on but my feet, strangely, stayed put. It seemed like an act of fate that unfavorable characters would happen along when I just happened to be royally pissed. It wasn't like I was looking for a fight, but if the fight happened to come to me, well.

The closer they got the more confident I felt that they wouldn't pass me by. They could have kept walking, they didn't of course, but they could have. Instead their footsteps stopped a few feet away and their voices turned to murmurs. I got my first good look at the trio and it became a struggle to keep my face blank.

Bullies, they only fought when they thought for sure they would win, which explained the pause. Hesitation, assessing a target. I was tall but pretty obviously lean. Sitting in the dark but wearing glasses that obviously marked me as a weaker target. What was it about glasses that made my face an appealing target for violence?

"Hey," One of them stepped forward, not the tallest of the three but the heaviest of them for sure. I spared him a sideways glance. The word was innocent enough, even if the intent behind it was so obviously not. I would give them a chance.

"You lost," He continued, again not a direct threat although the tone was a tad accusatory.

I took a look around the park feigning confusion, "Am I in the wrong run down park in the middle of suburbia?"

They were close enough now I could see their faces clearly. They were younger than me, heavy set but carried themselves with an incautious wait that suggested whatever they hit didn't usually hit back.

"You being funny?" The leader was only a few feet away and his entourage was right behind him.

"In the company of fools such as yourself I can only en devour to be amusing," I stated, making a show of bowing to their stupidity, I couldn't help myself. A comical moment of silence followed while their leader tried to figure out whether I was insulting him or just reciting Shakespeare in the park. He seemed to have reached a decision as he grabbed two fistfuls of my coat, and held me at a distance.

"Your on our turf," I almost took him down then and there because hey dude, boundaries. But he wasn't an alien invader hell bent on destroying my home planet. I could afford to give them an out.

"First of all, this is a public park, you can't own it." I said casually, "Secondly, you've got five seconds to let go of the coat before I take out two weeks worth of repressed aggression out on you.

He tugged my coat and personal space became an endangered species. This was closer to his face than I ever wanted to be.

"Say that to my face-"

I slugged the rest of his sentence back down his throat and wiped his feet out from under him for his trouble. Actions speak louder than words after all and his five seconds were up. The other two barely had time to register what I'd done to their leader before I stepped over him and planted a fist in each of their abdomens with an upward motion. I had only intended to displace their cores and topple them. It didn't occur to me that their abdominal muscles would be so badly affected until they both hit the ground gasping for breath.

I waited, guarded against a retaliation that never came. No surprise attack from the ground, no kind of fighting back at all.

I wasn't fighting Zim. Still, I thought they would put up more of a fight but this, this was just sad. I sighed heavily letting my stance go before rolling their leader over on his stomach and plopped down on his back. My weight forced the air out of his lungs and sent whatever fight was left in him whistling out of him.

"Sorry about the ass kicking," I apologized, and I did feel marginally regretful, that they hadn't even been a challenge, "but lets be honest you pretty much brought it on yourselves."

"Fuck you."

One of the lackeys still writhing on his back had finally regained the ability to talk, lets remedy that.

"Sorry pal," I stretched one of my legs out to hang over him. "You're just not my type."

I let gravity do its thing and my boot fell heavily into his gut winding him for the second time. Coupled with the earlier blow it had the poor guy curled up in the fetal position and wisely silent.

"You're insane," The one I had turned into a human couch wheezed. I grinned.

"You know what makes a mentally unstable person more unstable," I asked happily, no one replied but that was ok, "Calling them crazy."

"What do you want, man?" The other lackey coughed careful to keep out of boot range.

"Me?" I said considering the question for a moment, "I don't want anything, you're the idiots who threatened me. Thought you could take me out pretty easily too. A nerdy looking guy in a rundown park in the dark, be honest."

He didn't say anything, but his face told be I was right.

"Bulls-eye," I announced, "I am sorry though, normally I let things like this slide, dirt off my shoulder, you know. I've just been dealing with a lot lately and my usual sparing partner is most, if not all, of the problem."

They didn't say anything, and other than the wheezing and the attempted wheezing, I couldn't even be sure they had heard me at all but I carried on anyway. It felt good to vent, even if it was to unsuspecting teenagers who I had just decimated.

"You see there's this guy I hate, loath him really," That comment earned me a confused glare from the human couch, "and I know he hates me back but the jackass refuses to acknowledge it."

"Wait," The guy I had only hit once interrupted, "You hate each other, I don't understand whats the problem."

"I don't know," I said, the previous feeling of despair bubbled up again, "Things were peachy keen a few hours ago."

"Wait," he said again pulling himself up slowly, careful not to make himself as non threatening as possible, likely the more intelligent of the three, "You want to hate each other?"

"It's kind of the whole point," I nodded.

He and the one I had pinned shared a look that was one part awe, and two parts fear. there was silence for a minute before I sighed and stood up. letting the poor guy finally breath properly. He was up in an instant and the other one stood with him. They sprang away from me instantly turning on the defensive, but I was already back to leaning on the light post as if I had never wiped the pavement with them in the first place.

I expected them to pick up their friend and high tale it away from me and for the most part they did. But just before they walked away, dragging their less oxygenated friend with them the smart one stopped. turning back to me despite his leader's insistence that they get the hell away from me.

"What?" I asked genuinely curious, he still looked afraid but he obviously had something he wanted to share.

"Well," He started nervously, "Why not just ignore him?"

"Ignore him?"

"Well, yeah," He said, gaining more confidence, "If your already fighting with someone, won't they get super pissed if you just ignore them completely?"

"Sister pulls that crap on me all the time, it works," The leader chimed in begrudgingly.

"Not sure if I could do that," I mused, Ignoring Zim would be like ignoring a stab wound. It would fester and eventually kill me, and so would Zim if he felt the fight was leaving me, but I might be able to pretend.

It could work, risky but then there was a good chance that any other kind of plan I tired to come up with would be just as risky. I had been banned from all contact if I wanted the treaty to stay in tacked after all. Honestly I didn't really give a damn about the treaty, it was a temporary thing that I was planning on breaking anyway but if I could use it to my advantage somehow, why not?

I had a lot to think about and a possible plan of action so I let the would be thugs go with a promise of future ass kickings if I heard so much of a whisper of something like this happening again and headed home. I was still angry with Zim, but at least now I had a counter attack, if a somewhat unsure one. I was actually in a marginally hopeful mood when I woke up the next morning.

And then Gaz tanked it.

The next morning she was in the passenger seat of my car glaring angrily at the UFO air freshener like it had personally offended her and it probably had. I was half in half out of the car and contemplating the benefits of walking to school.

"If you try to run, I'll make sure you never walk again," She threatened managing to terrify me into paralysis without even looking up from her game. "Get your giant head in the car and drive."

"My head's not big," I muttered weakly slamming the door behind me.

The ride was not an enjoyable one, I would rather be in one of Mrs. Bitter's infamous detentions. Gaz was irritated, she was always irritated People breathing the same air as her seemed to infuriate her to the verge of homicide, but today especially she seemed agitated.

"What happened to you and Zim," She bit out finally.

I was genuinely proud of myself for not swerving this time. Seriously, how the hell did she know this stuff?

"Nothing, I said darkly, there was really no point in lying about it, "Absolutely, nothing."

"Bull," Gaz spat, "did you get into a fight?

"No!" I said, that was really the entire problem, "Dammit, it would be easy if we could just-"

What, I wasn't even sure what had to happen to fix this.

"What are you going to do about it?" Gaz asked, straightforward. There wasn't an once of sympathy in the question and I would have been terrified if there had been. We had pulled into the school's parking lot and I turned off the car, reveling in the silence for a minute before answering.

"I don't know," I sighed, taking my glasses off and pressing my fingers into my eyes until it was actually painful and lights dance across my vision. The fact that I found the act comforting was probably unhealthy, but it placed pretty low on my list of issues right now.

"I have an idea but I'm not sure if it'll work," I said, shaking my head, "I'm not sure weather I should even try."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gaz said sharply, this wasn't just irritation, she was pissed really pissed. I recoiled reflexively, pressing into the door. She had put down her game and holy crap! I was going to die.

"Your plans fail all the time, when has that ever stopped you?" She snapped her teeth actually click together.

"I don't-"

"It doesn't, ever. You keep going until you either get what you want or die because you're an idiot."

She slammed the door behind her, and for the second time I sat in silence and wondered why Gaz was bothering to get involved at all. I would have an easier time cracking the bi nuclear Irken encryption system in Tak's ship than trying to figure out why Gaz did anything. Even if I did manage it Gaz's reasoning, had to be more terrifying than the nightmare dimension in my head.

Ignoring Zim turned out to be just as impossibly painful as I thought it would be. It was like trying to ignore someone who was actively trying to kill you. Actually that summed it up perfectly. I was careful painstakingly so, at best I could get the smallest of glances out of my peripheral when I knew I could get away with it. I was managing but this was difficult, every little thing seemed to bother me. The names I had grown so used to ignoring were like nails on a chalkboard and the overall blatant stupidity of everyone around me was suffocating. By the end of week one I snapped for the first time. It was on a Friday, and I should have been congratulating myself on a week well done but all I could think about was how I was suppose to get through another seven days. I was grabbing what I would need to distract myself over the weekend when I heard it.

"Freak,"

I paused, it wasn't like this sort of thing was uncommon. Hell under normal circumstances I probably wouldn't have even noticed but at that moment the last thing i wanted to do was let it go. I turned to glare at the offender. It was a kid using the locker next to mine, he was a grade under me and I wouldn't have recognized him at all if our lockers hadn't been right next to each other. Freak he had called me, and he really had no idea. No idea how delicate this planet was or how unprepared we were for what was out there and I was the only one who had any idea, and yet, I was the freak.

During this oh so inspiring revelation the guy pinned under my glare seemed to be loosing confidence. If you have the gull to call someone out you should be prepared to face the backlash. "Get lost." I growled, actually growled, and I meant it, this was the only warning I was going to give him before I bit back.

He took off like I'd actually tried to set him on fire and I stood there blinking at the place were he had been standing. I didn't think I was capable of invoking that level of fear with just a look but maybe I was related to Gaz after all. Shrugging I slung my bag over my shoulder, slammed my locker shut and turned in one smooth motion. A glimpse of green popped up in my peripheral and before I could stop the reflex I turned to look.

It was Zim, of course it was. Leaning against the lockers and glaring at me in pretty much the same way I had that kid. I forced my line of vision to carry past him and focus on something else. Thankfully, by some power of the universe, a clock was on the wall not far from Zim. I gave it enough consideration to be considered socially acceptable before striding off in the other direction letting Zim get swallowed by the crowd. From what little glimpse I had grabbed Zim seemed annoyed, good. At least now I knew I hadn't spent an entire week trying not to commit mass genocide against the student body for nothing.

Three days later it was Monday again and a weekend of wrestling with Tak's ship and finishing the rest of the year's homework had done absolutely nothing to make my new plan any less stressful. I had given Zim an entire weekend to himself, I was almost surprised to wake up Monday morning and not find the world on fire but it wasn't. I woke up to a completely fire free Monday, and it was still a burning hell.

I made it through to lunch before I had my second break, and to be fair it was mostly self defense, mostly. I was eating outside around the far end of the building, very purposefully by myself. I wasn't really focusing on my food. Lately it had become more of a mechanical thing, bite, chew, swallow, keep the organs running. I was going through possible Irkin coding patterns in my head when the crunch of gravel forced me back to reality. For a stupidly hopeful minute I thought maybe Zim had finally come looking for a fight. That thought was quickly squashed when I looked up to see one of the other students.

Great, just great, crazy guy can't eat one lunch in peace and quite. A football player, I guessed, by the way he carried himself, he had nothing to fear. Not like a bully, they were careful until they spotted a weaker target. This one had no subtly, nothing to fear. He took a look around the lot, spotted me and bee lined for me. The set anger on his face meant one of two things, I had somehow offended him, or he was planning on offending me. Either way I wasn't going to get to finish my lunch today.

I groaned internally and stuffed the rest of my lunch back in its bag before standing up. At full height I was taller than most people and this guy was no exception. whatever tall people had that made them intimidating I apparently had missed out. The one who was approaching me now was definitely not intimidated. I waited, running wouldn't do any good, any way I might try to go could be cut off easily and I didn't really feel like running. Actually, I was pretty irritated, damned annoyed in fact. I just wanted a few minutes to myself away from Zim and away from everyone else.

"Hey freak,"

I didn't dignify my given title with a reply, it wasn't necessary. This guy was running on his own steam and nothing I could say or do in this situation was likely to change the dialogue much. So I waited with more patience then I was really feeling at the moment.

"I'm talking to you." He was closer now, and very quickly encroaching on what I deemed personal space.

"Oh, is that what you call it," I said casually, leaning against the wall as though I we weren't two wrong words from a fist fight, "Sounded like gibberish to me."

"You threatened my little brother," He said getting closer, "scared him with your craziness."

"Undoubtedly," I said, not that I had any idea what he was talking about, but the longer he babbled on the less I cared. He did look familiar though, it clicked in my head a half second too late. He was the older brother of the kid whose locker was next to mine. Fantastic.

His fist was already heading for my face and I ducked under it reflexively. In one fluid motion I decided enough was enough and forced his face to become just as intimately involved with the brick as his fist had been. The rest of him slid down the wall and pooled on the ground, he cradled his face and continued to blubber insults but I was already walking away. A small crowd had appeared no doubt following the other guy in hopes of seeing my impending beat down.

Such a shame to disappoint.

I didn't expect him to get back up, not after that, but the crunch of gravel spewing footsteps behind me couldn't be ignored. I turned just as he was closing in and used his momentum to steer him into the ground. I stood over him for a moment watching him struggle to figure out which was up and planted a heavy kick to his gut to make sure he didn't get up again. Just because he was a bad fighter didn't mean he couldn't get lucky if given enough shots. The second and third kicks were mostly for my benefit, school is a stressful place after all.

The murmuring mass of suddenly nervous high school students was forced to split down the middle in order to maintain the school regulated five foot distance from the crazy kid. It suited me just as well considering I was still on edge.

I stayed on edge, though from that point on no one would give me the time of day much less challenge me to their own personal ass kicking. Any other time school would have been great without all the name calling and the off hand shoving in the hallway but at this point I needed a distraction, needed it like air to breathe. Out of desperation I plowed my way through the rest of the years homework in all of my classes. It did little besides get the attention of a few of my teachers-Captain calculus killjoy not included-and a week and a half later I was having my IQ tested. Which was how I ended up at the testing center long after dark. I had actually went there right after school for lack of anything better to do, but apparently the good employees at the state governed testing facility practically piss themselves whenever anyone has an IQ anywhere near a certain science dedicated father. They even tried to call him, and that was when things had started to get entertaining. Now, however, it was late and the testing facility was not in the greatest neighborhood.

I wasn't bothered really, the car was parked in a parking garage a few blocks away and I could use the walk. I was pretty proud of myself, it had been a week and a half and I hadn't punched anyone or broken my truce with Zim. Homicidal thoughts had become a regular occurrence and I might be developing an ulcer, but hurray for tiny victories. I kept right on feeling victorious until I spotted them. Two of them more specifically, waiting casually on the side walk in front of a side alley. They seemed harmless enough but the situation was reading wrong. No one has any right looking that relaxed in a setting like this, The only one who feels at home in a wolfs den is the wolf. As I got closer their stances stayed relaxed but they were defiantly sizing me up. Determining weather I was something they could handle. I could just cross the street. They probably wouldn't follow me, the kind of people who wait for the victim to come to them.

I didn't cross the street, my feet just simply refused. Couldn't say I blamed them, why should I go out of my way? It was a public side walk I was free to go where I wanted. Besides I could be wrong, maybe they really were just hanging out and if just maybe, I was hoping I was right, that they would give me a reason to 'protect myself' well no one needed to know. I kept my course at a measured pace and carefully kept my eyes focused away from them. I had a feeling if I looked them in the eye they might not be so quick to think me an easy target. I was within ten feet of them when their postures changed simultaneously and I pretended not to notice. The thud of my boots on the sidewalk was the only immediate sound.

I was almost past them and still neither of them spoke. I was more than a little disappointed, until I caught a glimpse of the alley to my left. There in the gloom, among all the garbage cans and liter was the third member of their group. It was a surprise although probably not the one kind they thought it would be for me. I could tell already that these three were nothing like the kids in the park. No, these three would have experience, and they might actually know how to fight. I fought back a grin and kept my eyes fixed on the sidewalk in front of me and sped up my pace just for good measure.

"Hey, can you spear a few?" One of the two on the right said stepping into my path and effectively forcing me to stop to avoid running into him. It was an innocent question and unlike the idiots in the park this guy didn't appear hostile. If it weren't for his friend blocking off an exit from the opposite direction I might have believed he really wanted nothing more than a possible handout.

"No sorry, flat broke." I said backing away from both of them, towards the alley. "You know how it is."

The one who had cut me off nodded good naturally as if he understood but blocked my attempt to slide past him. They were corralling me into the mouth of the alley and I let them, kept my eyes focused on him and the one in the hat beside him but i kept my ears focused behind me. Alleys had a nasty tendency to echo and I was sure I would be able to track the third one once he started moving.

"I don't want any trouble," I said steadily.

It was a lie, a flat out, complete and utter lie and I couldn't bring myself to deny it, even to myself. I wanted trouble, It had come knocking on my door and I was welcoming it back like an old friend.

"Neither do we," The one in the hat said his smile turning grizzly in a way I was sure was meant to inspire fear but I had seen worse.

I was worse.

Behind me the third one had started moving forward, stalling my inner monologue. He was trying to be silent, really but in an alley full of broken glass and crunching paper there was only so much you could do. I doubted it had really proven a problem for them before, most people tending to focus on the visible threat in front of them. It was just their bad luck that I was not most people.

I waited a few more seconds letting them shuffle further into the alley before I struck out. The one behind me was close enough to hit. I didn't have to hear him, at this point he was so close I could feel it. I pivoted and planted my boot straight in his gut with none of the restraint I had shown the kids from the other night. He flew back landing in a heap and I turned back just in time to see the others surprise morph into something darker.

These people were not amateurs, they might not have been expecting a fight but that didn't mean they weren't prepared. Almost instantly they snapped forward one going low the other aiming for my head in a crude attempt at teamwork. I blocked a fist from the one at head level and and a well placed stomp into the other. He stumbled back and I put him out of my mind for the moment focusing all of my attention on the one who was doing his level best to pummel me. I evaded a blow from his free hand and used the momentum to bring his captured arm over my should before slamming him into the unforgiving asphalt below. The one behind me was getting back up by then and I quickly put a stop to it by bringing his staggering head to my knee. When I turned the one I had stomped was charging, a glint of metal flickered and it occurred to me he was armed with more then just his fists and an over confidence born from picking on the weak.

A knife.

Not surprising, certainly not as terrifying as he probably thought it was. What was a knife to someone who fought on a regular basis against advanced alien weaponry. If I wasn't so focused on not being stabbed I would have sighed. Instead I gave him a long suffering glare and moved in to disarm him. Only I never got the chance, something whistled past my head and he was just gone.

No, not gone, but thrown back with a great deal of force. He connected heavily with a dumpster and crumpled to the ground in a heap, a scorched ragged circle still smoking in his shoulder. I whipped around looking up where the alley opened to the sky and saw, nothing.

It had to have been Zim, he had been there watching. Why had he been watching though? I watched and listened for a laugh or even more gunfire but it was oddly silent in the alley. Well, silent if you ignored the groaning of the defeated muggers.

I could call the police for them, I would be gone by the time anyone got out here but it was likely that the three of them would be gone by then too. So I left, watching over my shoulder for any signs that Zim might be tailing me. If he was there he was ghosting, I couldn't find a sign of him anywhere and that was beyond frustrating. Ideas for some kind of early Irkan incoming warning system buzzed around in my head on the drive home but for the most part I felt pretty good about the night as a whole. Zim was paying attention, even while I was pretending not to and tonight's message was clear. He was staking a claim, I was his mark. It wasn't anyone's place but his to take me out.

I kept that train of thought rolling around in my head the entire ride home and several hours later it was still ever present as I gazed up at the holographic projection of the stars that made up the ceiling in my room. One of the many things I had created in a desperate attempt to keep my mind off Zim. Right now there was a satellite telescope I had designed and launched into space currently orbiting the earth. It was designed to locate and zoom in on different nebulae and stars at different intervals and I had hoped it would be enough to at least grant me a few hours of sleep.

I had been wrong of course but at least I had something pretty to look at. Currently it was fixated on the eagle nebula filling the room with gentle blue green light that did absolutely nothing to stop my brain from going a-wall on all possibilities of Zim's actions tonight. The projection jumped sporadically before settling on the fox fur nebula and I turned on my side huffing out a tired sigh.

Zim had better make a move soon or I was really going to lose my mind.

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><p>I think Dib might have come off a bit darker than I originally intended, but high school reeks hell on the psyche with or with out extraterrestrial beings trying to destroy your home planet, so he's probably doing pretty well under the circumstances. Next chapter will be in Zims point of view and I like to use typing to procrastinate so it will probably be up sooner than normal.<p> 


	7. Ch 7 Unstable Reactions

Still not dead! Just having trouble finding the time to actually sit down and work out the rest of this story. BUT! This I have a really good feeling about how the rest of this is gonna turn out. Pretty sure next chapter is going to be considerably longer than this one, but somehow easier to write which is a little weird but hey it will probably be done quicker so 'yay'. Next chapter's in Dibs point of view!

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><p>ZIM.<p>

This was an annoyance. Merely and annoyance I refused to let it be anything more than that. Dib had done nothing to break the rules of the truce. He obeyed the new parameters I had created on a whim and refused to so much as acknowledge my presence. Even worse he seemed entirely unconcerned by it. How could he think himself capable of Vaarshokk when he could disregard my presence so easily. Under its sway hatred would have consumed him so completely that such a thing would have been impossible.

Ridiculous.

And yet, somethings had changed. His natural loudness was gone, when the teachers spoke to him he answered only in brief concise answers and seemed, what was the term humans used, unsettled? He was never wholly patient but now his restlessness was visible. Dibs unease written out in the tapping of his fingers on the desk or the jittering motion his legs did like he wanted nothing more than to bolt out of class.

Then, in the hallway, something even stranger occurred. It was not as though I were purposefully watching the Dib-thing but you do not give you're enemy the benefit of the doubt ever and I was constantly vigilante for any attack the Dib might unleash while he thought I was unaware. One of the filthy humans made a passing comment and Dib's entire being seemed to seize up before he angled his head towards the offending boy. Not once in all of my time on this filth ball had I ever seen Dib give such a glare to anyone besides myself.

In that moment I was suddenly furious, a instant away from calling Dib out on such an obvious display of hatred that belonged to me and in that same instant I realized I was behaving just like a Irken would have to their Vaarshok. What the Dib hates had nothing to do with me. This was merely another bi-product of over exposure, it would pass. It had to pass.

Oblivious to me Dib continued to glare at the other earthling until he lost his nerve and bolted. Dib dropped his scowl and seemed almost confused. Had he not realized he was practically murdering his own kind with an expression? He turned and for the briefest of moments I thought he would break his own truce. Instead his vision went right over me as though I wasn't there and I refused to acknowledge the simmering anger I felt at being ignored. No I wasn't upset at not being acknowledged I was disappointed he hadn't broken the truce like the weak human he was. Weak and unworthy.

Nothing more.

Days passed this way, Dib growing increasingly more irritable, yet oddly the teachers only seemed to encourage this new behavior. As though they had not realized the Dib-human's slightly superior intelligence until now. Still he refused to so much as breath foul human air in my direction. If I placed myself directly in his path he simply altered his course. Things remained this way until a meal break one day, Dib had secluded himself behind the building to devour the filth all humans needed to continue to function. I had seated myself far enough to observe him without being seen, for my own protection of course. I couldn't afford to get complacent just because it seemed as though Dib was playing by the rules.

Dib always ate alone, research had placed humans firmly in the category of a group species preferring the safety of numbers and connections. Being alone on this planet meant one of two things. You were rejected, not allowed within the group and forced to go it alone, or you were the predator. The very reason humans protected themselves by forming groups. Dib had always been the former, rejected for not conforming the the standards of his fellow prey. How low must one sink to be rejected from this fallacy of a race as one of its own?

A shadow loomed over me dragging me from my thoughts and to the presence possible threat. It wasn't uncommon to be approached seeing as I ate alone as well, or at least it hadn't been. I had made it perfectly clear that any challenger faced a swift demise if they dared to challenge me and since torque I had not had another challenger. I was prepared to give out a sole warning when the shadow passed and I glanced up to see one of the larger more empty headed students making his way around the back of the school followed at a distance by a sizable amount of other human filth sacs.

It was Dib who had the challenger. I frowned in disgust, this human was wasting his time. Dib might have been more than happy to test his combat skills against me but he refused to fight his own kind. Choosing simply to run away like a wayward weakling, pathetic. As Dib took notice I waited for him to make his escape, the human put his lunch away calmly and stood but other than that made no other move. What was he playing at?

The other larger human got closer shouting aggressively but Dib seemed oddly unaffected, he looked, bored. When the rolling mass of putrid made to swing at him Dib simply stepped aside and followed through with a simply blow that had the other bouncing off the wall and reeling in pain on the ground. Dib continued on without a backwards glance, easy as breathing. Except the human behind him didn't stay down. He clamored up and made to attack Dib again, it didn't matter as the out come was no different from the first time. Dib barely acknowledged the attack as he threw his opponent back into the dirt. Then considering for a moment he left the full wait of his boot drop on the fall en's gut using it like a stepping stone to carry on in the direction of the school.

There was a sharp crunch and I was made forcefully aware that my snack had met its demise at my own hands. I was angry, shaking with it in a way I was not often. It was only because the Dib had shown such was actually low enough to fight his own kind. I was disappointed that my rival had such low aspirations, yes that was it. This had nothing to do with the way Dibs look of fierce joy when his opponent hit the ground for the second time. I consoled myself even as my snack disintegrated further in my grip.

My disappointment did not stop me from observing Dib regularly, I had to be cautious always. Rarely did Dib venture into the city and even more unusual that his destination was anything other than his fathers laboratory. So when Dib took to a different route through the city I realized this might be the move I had been waiting for him to make. Now that he thought I was unaware he would strike but I would not let him get the upper hand.

That was how I found myself on the rooftops observing Dib as he walked. Dib moved with a confidence no one should have amidst the festering cesspool of a city. Ahead of him several humans prowled like wolves. Their stances were relaxed but predators recognize predators even lesser ones. Yet Dib pressed forward.

He must have noticed them, even his recent streak of not fleeing from battle wouldn't account for this. Infuriatingly Dib did not move one but instead allowed himself to be trapped, backed into the alley were the third wolf waited. What could be going through that abnormally large head of his? Had he finally lost the last shreds of his sanity?

One of the men made a move and suddenly Dibs reasoning became clear. These humans were no more a threat to him than to myself. He was _toying_ with them, moving between the three of them with ease and an almost ecstatic expression of his face. I knew that expression, coveted it. That was the face Dib made only when he thought he was victorious and I found no greater joy in tearing that expression from his face.

Dib had no right showing that face to anyone else.

I hated him, this stupid sniveling human who dared to fight me. Hated him for thinking he was even worthy of having me as an enemy. I hated these pathetic weak humans for daring to challenge him. The last of the attackers was taken out so suddenly half a moment passed before I realized it was my own doing. I should do the same to Dib, would do the same, right now. He was no different than any other being on this planet it would be easy.

Only I could not, instead I stood their frozen like

This was ridiculous. Shameful. Irkens did not hesitate! We are sure in our actions to the conclusion and yet here I was skirting around the enemy like a coward. Disgraceful. Irkens do not act this way!

But then.

Irkens do not enslave their own race to their whims

Irkens do not plot to kill their overseer's.

Irkens do as they please.

If I as an Irken chose to do something than that is something that an Irken does, only the control brains had the power to tell me differently.

Dib had proven himself a worthy opponent, my inability to turn my back on him even now proved that.

He was not Irken but, and though I loathed to even think it, he was worthy of the title Vaarshock.

"Very well Dib, I will acknowledge your claim but give me even the smallest sign of weakness and I will destroy you."

"Dib!"

The retched human didn't even have the decency to flinch like a proper earth worm at the sound of my voice. He remained facing the opposite direction casually maneuvering things around in his locker. Turning your back on your Vaarshokk, if not for this retched truce he would be slain in an instant for such a transgression.

"I've decided tonight to lift the ban on contact."

This time Dib did flinch if only slightly, a smallest shift in the shoulders and the sound of crumpling paper but still he remained, stubbornly facing the other way.

"We will meet at the base to discuss terms of renegotiation immediately after school," I received no reply but it didn't matter, I knew he was listening, "You will be their."

He gave no reply to that either and I did not wait for one. He would be there I was certain of it.

All that was left to do now was wait.

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><p>Alrighty then, yeah not a long chapter but an important one! Also I've layed out the rest of the story and its gonna be 10 chapters and maybe an epilogue if I'm feelin' froggy. Super psyched to write whats next.<p> 


	8. Ch 8 Laser Weasels 2 The Revenge

Yeah So I actually finished typing this chapter awhile ago but I had alot of things going on _*cough*_ _Chemisty Final *cough,cough* _So That did not happen, also editing makes me want to cry so there's that. But Yeah Only two chapters left to go and we are finally, finally finished. Chapters will flip consistantly from this point on so next chapter will be in Zim's point of view and so on.

Enjoy.

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><p>I wanted to shout! Hell, I wanted to skip and sing hallelujah, and most of all I wanted to whip around and yell 'I told you so!' right in Zim's face.<p>

I did none of those; instead I stood facing carefully in the other direction. Listening, if I showed any reaction no it might spur Zim to change his decision purely out of spite. I might not care much about the truce itself but losing the truce meant losing to Zim and I couldn't afford to let the scale tip in Zim's favor. Not when things were still so upended.

So I held my breath and waited until Zim had finished his speech and marched away to a safe distance.

"Yes!" I hollered slamming my locker shut and startling the kid next to me.

"Did you hear that?" I said to him.

"You mean the sounds of insanity?" He replied slowly inching backwards.

"Exactly," I said with what I knew must be one maniacal looking grin.

The kid edged back further a few paces holding his binder between himself and me "Ookay dude."

It didn't matter I was already walking away, skipping practically, out of the building. All those little annoyances I had been brewing over hardly seem to matter. Never mind that the school wanted to talk to my father about my 'educational needs', again. Or that I hadn't seen Gaz at school or at home for a concerning number of days. This right here was progress.

It was amazing how walking into the lair of your most hated enemy could make the tension bleed from your shoulders and suddenly that migraine that you've been nursing for the past week magically disappears. Although Zim himself was nowhere in sight, even the unease of knowing he had the upper hand was comforting in its own way.

"Are you finally going to acknowledge me Dib?"

It was Zim's voice and it echoed from all around me but I had a fairly decent guess at where its source might be.

For all that Zim's house was lacking in furniture it made up for in wiring and Zim did love to put himself above others. Sure enough the mechanical clicking from above was my only warning before 140lbs of alien and mechanics dropped down on the spot I had been standing half a moment before.

"Really Zim," I said, grinning ear to ear as Zim stood to full height to scowl up at me. "I didn't realize you were abolishing the original truce as well."

"Nonsense," Zim Sneered. "I simply fell in the exact spot you happened to be standing, even I cannot defy you earths horrible gravity."

"I'm actually positive that's a lie" I said unimpressed. "But, since we're going to play that game."

I pitched forward suddenly flailing and purposefully hooking my leg around Zim's ankle to insure he went down with me.

We hit the floor with a thud and already Zim's claws were at my throat, god I'd missed this.

"Whoops can't believe I slipped, you really should fix your floor Zim someone could get hurt," I scolded mockingly, decidedly ignoring the pinprick pain of claws on my neck. "I was lucky you just happened to be standing here to cushion the fall right Zim?"

"Lies," Zim hissed dangerously, his face was so close now, teeth glinting dangerously, so much sharper now for how close they had become. I had to wonder if-no, nope not the time.

I couldn't afford to do anything that might bring us back to the purgatory hell we had just been through. So I leaned back, though I still kept Zim pinned, redirected my brain off the path to nowhere good.

"Get off me human filth," Zim had propped himself back on his elbows seething when I latently ignored his command. "Dib!"

"Not until you tell me why." I said finally.

"Why what?"

"You know damn we-"

"MARY!"

I flinched as Gir rocketed into the room with all the force of a sugar fueled hurricane. He circled the room once before landing next to Zims head.

"Aw, you and Mary are playing house".

And wasn't that just a horrifying hilarious thought? The image of Zim in an apron had me shaking I was laughing so hard I thought I might cry, but Zim was reaching a murderous level of angry, and I needed to do damage control quickly.

"Gir, how about we play hide and seek," I said scooping Gir off the floor and trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, "You go hide and I'll come find you, ok?"

"Okey dokey"

Gir rocketed out of my grip and right through one of the windows, disappearing down the street in a cloud of jet exhaust.

"How much time do you think that bought us?" I asked standing along with Zim.

"Anywhere from an hour to several days if we're lucky" Zim mused brushed bits of glass from his clothes as he stood, "Now, the matter of the truce, human.

"What, what truce" hadn't we just ended the truce, wasn't that the whole point of this meeting to call off that stupid truce so we could both go back to trying to destroy each other, unless oh, damn him, "No, Zim No!"

"Does you weak brain need time to process Dib?"

"But," I said flailing a bit, "We don't need it anymore"

Zim studied me for a moment before his expression turned smug.

"So, you forfeit?"

Damn him, this was insane, prolonging both of our suffering just to make it a competition.

"Zim," I said with a growl of my own, why did he have to do this, we could have gone back to fighting each other full force, but now, Zim's expression said he wasn't joking and I'd be damned if I was going to let him be smug about this.

"The Truce stays until it expires at the end of the school year." I sighed heavily, "I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of thinking you won over something so stupid."

Zim's went south and he grumbled before dropping onto the couch with a huff and patting the seat beside him.

"Right," I sighed again, resigned, and took the seat next to him rooting around in my bag before finding the offending math book, "let's get this over with."

Three weeks. It was another three weeks of agonizing truce bound boring civility before the last day of high school was finally here. Not much had happened in that purgatory gap. A group of very official looking suits had started showing up at the school on a regular basis which made Zim amusingly paranoid. In the end it turned out they were investigating the schools education program since one of their students had tested impossibly high on all subjects.

Oops.

Mr. Caustic seemed more purple faced then usual and Zim and I enjoyed torturing him on a unified front.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, temporarily at least. Not that any of that mattered

Today was the last day of the truce. At midnight tonight things would finally be back to normal. All I had to do was make it through today. I had nearly crashed the car, trying to drive while mentally checking anything I might still need for tonight Nodding to myself reassuringly I stepped out of the car only to spot Zim marching determinedly across the parking lot with a very suspicious looking box. I jogged to catch up before falling in line beside him.

"Truce is in effect until midnight," I started carefully, "those were your rules if I remember correctly."

"Of course," Zim replied so casually I was certain he was about to do something horrible, "I'm not going against the truce in anyway Dib-stink."

"What's in the box Zim?"

"Nothing to concern yourself with," Zim said in a tone that had me very, very, concerned, "It is merely a small prank on one of our schools wonderful faculty members, in honor of our senior status."

"A senior prank," I stated, a little miffed that I was able to decode Zim's insane speech so easily, "You're going to play a senior prank on one of the teachers...Zim, what's in the box?"

"Experiment LA2300," Zim stated, grin wide and wicked.

"Laser weasels!" I immediately veered away from the box, I remembered them, vividly and painfully. I quietly considered telling Zim that harming any human went against the truce but if he was aiming to use his insane experiment on who I thought he was I might let it slide, "Which teacher?"

"I would be ashamed to call you my most hated enemy if you couldn't figure that out on your own Dib," Zim scoffed, his grin somehow grew wider.

I nodded ignoring the dance my insides did at Zims choice of words and made my way towards Mr. Caustic's car. Zim followed without saying much else except to criticize the stupidity of humanity when I knelt to find the magnetic key box under the bumper of the car. I popped the trunk and Zim placed the box inside punched a few numbers nodded closed the trunk and made for the school without a backwards glance to me.

After that Zim and I hardly talked or even really looked at a each other and though watching Mr. Caustic's trunk explode was hilarious, it was difficult to enjoy in the wake of what tonight would bring.

Sleep was an impossible fantasy although I did try. I was as prepared as I would ever be. So I found myself staring at the cosmos of my ceiling until 11:30 rolled around and I rolled back out of bed.

I timed my walk to Zim's base very carefully; I was practically shaking when I reached the cul-de-sac a minute before midnight. This was it.

Naturally, that's when everything exploded.

Zim's base was decimated in a column of smoke and a shock wave that almost knocked me off my feet. I was prepared for anything but not for this. No attack came my way no threat made itself known but what I saw turned my insides to ice

Zim's spaceship was already well clear of the blast and rocketing skyward, already so small, I might not have noticed it if I hadn't been looking.

There was nothing I could do but watch it disappear into the darkness and wait. I stood there for hours watching the remains of the little green house disintegrate, watching for something anything to prove that this was just another one of Zim's insane plots to destroy the earth, to destroy me. When the sun finally rose I took a seat on the curb and let the horrible truth sink in.

Zim was gone.

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><p>I should point out that the letter Z on my keyboard has just given up witch sucks because Zim's name is freakin' everywhere. At least you guys get to bask in the wonderful glow of yet another cliff hanger for three months while I try to find time to type the next chapter. That's right folks I've completely given up on feeling guilty about how long this takes. I am a sorry excuse for an other that probably couldn't meet a deadline if her life depended on it and that's just how it is. Next Chapter Zim takes on the tallest armed with a defective robot and a bag of taquitos.<p> 


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